I had a dream you were following me home from somewhere. We were both in our cars and it was late.

You didn't know where we were going so you tailed me closely. I could see your outline in the windshield blurred by the rain. You weren't smiling.

You had your hands at 10 and 2.... carefully turning when I would. Blinkers in perfect unison. I let cars pass me when necessary. Sometimes they would get between us and stick around too long but I never let you go. I made everything very deliberate. With every lane change you were on my mind.

The drive was long so my thoughts began to drift. I thought about how I felt weird when you actually trusted me. How I felt like every other man was a more certain version of myself and you were drawn to them because of it.

But not tonight. Tonight I knew exactly what to do. Exactly where to go. And you did not. You needed me. I guess that made you uncomfortable. This could all be in my head.

Lost in this for awhile I looked up and you weren't there anymore.  I slowed down and waited. But you never showed. Minutes turned to more. You were gone. So I kept going.

I lived my life. I aged. I adopted new theories of what happened. I married someone else. But when things were quiet or heavy I would think about that night I lost you and wonder.

No word. No call. Just a faceless silhouette in my rearview with somewhere else to be.