dating update...

My recent experiences involve

an emotionally unstable ex-stripper (not near as cool as it sounds)

a cutie at the pool (with a boyfriend)

stubble (ew)

amazing conversation with an angelina jolie protege (that lead to nothing at all)

date with a teacher older than me (not sure how I feel about her)

gonna keep truckin....

Sounds about right

A few years ago I liked this girl. She was a beautiful Hispanic girl who wrote incredible lines of introspective poetry. Though I felt a childishness in her persona, I knew somewhere in there was something real that I felt I would never get the chance to meet. That kind of tragedy is like a magnet for me. I wanted her for myself. But she chose the drug addicts and wild eyed in hopes of saving them.

One night, drunk, I emailed her a Bob Dylan song. I don’t know why I did it but I had just discovered it and wanted her to experience it like I had. It knocked me on my ass. So out of the blue I sent her an email telling her she really needs to give Bob Dylan a chance. I then copied the following song for her to read. This song is one of the best songs ever written in my opinion.

'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail,
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail,
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Now there's a wall between us, somethin' there's been lost
I took too much for granted, got my signals crossed.
Just to think that it all began on a long-forgotten morn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love.
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation an' they gave me a lethal dose.
I offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Well, I'm livin' in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine.
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I didn’t see her for a couple years and finally saw her at a show recently and got the chance to talk to her. We were talking about music and she started gushing about Bob Dylan. I made a joke and said he “fucking sucks.” She looked at me dumbfounded and aghast. I laughed and asked her if she remembered me sending her the song a long time ago.

She shook her head and then sort of pretended like she recalled it vaguely…

And that is my experiences with beautiful women in a nutshell.

Things are...

good......

=D

the bachelor party (rather tame)

So me and 7 other guys went to Corpus to celebrate our friend Todd's bachelor party. I had a lot of fun but it wasn't near as crazy as it could have been. Most of the guys were married or had serious girlfriends so myself and the only other single guy were a bit outnumbered. He was a divorcee with a 5 year old. And 3 years younger than me.

Something tells me this situation is going to be a more common occurrence as the years go by. It seems all the people I know are getting married or are damn close to it around the age of 28 or so. I am that one friend that everyone has...that one guy who just cant hold down a girlfriend. The guy people hope meets a nice girl soon. Sometimes envied, sometimes pitied; all depending on the state of each man's union with the aforementioned significant other. I'm okay with that. Every situation has its perks.

Still it was good to meet new people and have some laughs this weekend. Glad to be back in Austin though. And those boxes aren't going to unpack themselves.

I'm going crazy not having the internet at home. I think its the one thing I really couldn't do without. Tomorrow the glorious Time Warner dude will show up and connect me to the world again.

New Place

So my new place is big, clean and very cool. and no visits by apparitions so that's nice.

The kitchen has a lot of white in it, large windows and the ceilings are very high so it really feels opened up which is a new experience for me. The cabinets and appliances are all white so it really has a clean look to everything too. Very Macintosh.

Its also the first gated community I have ever lived in. I liked the old place but when you come outside and see a car on 4 blocks of concrete with every tire missing, it can sort of get you concerned. I know something as simple as a gate would have probably saved the guys tires. Lucky for me I have a car that thieves point at and laugh.

I spent all day yesterday running around like a madman. Movers, cleaning the old place, unpacking the new place. The damn movers took me for 320 bucks. I misunderstood their pricing policy. I still tipped the guys well, it wasn't their fault so I hope the karma of that was worth it all.

This post is boring. Try the one before this one. =)

The stranger in my apartment

Okay so I consider myself to be a pretty practical guy. Paranormal subjects are something I take with a grain of salt and anything beyond my immediate reality is heavily questioned and scrutinized. I don't claim to have any answers or definitive beliefs as to what lies beyond the senses I was born with. I know there is probably a world beyond them but I cant claim to know anything about them or talk about them as if I did.

That being said I had the weirdest experience last night.

I am in the middle of packing for my move so my apartment is in a complete state of disrepair. I took apart my bed last night so it would be easier to load when the moving guys show up. Since I didn't have a bed I decided to sleep on the couch.

In the middle of my sleep last night I had a sudden strange feeling. Like an all-body physical sensation with a strong feeling of some other presence in the room. Kinda like a deep shudder but no movement. Tingling all throughout my body. (I hope that gives a good idea of the feeling)

This sent me from my deep sleep into a half-sleep, half awake state. I remember thinking how odd the feeling was and though I was a bit scared to, I slowly forced my eyes open. And it was hard because I was very tired. This is where it gets weird.

I don't know how to explain this but when my eyes finally opened, several feet from me I caught what made out to be a man slowly walking past my couch. I was too scared to move for a second. Without pause or hesitation in his stride he walked up to the wall, melted into it and was gone.

Now like I said I don't know about paranormal things. I also understand that the brain is pretty amazing and dreams can often seem like reality. And of course I was in a half-conscious state but it was probably one of the more surreal experiences of my life. Because I am almost certain that I did wake up enough to actually open my eyes. It was dark in my apartment but I could see enough of him to make out that it was a man. He wasn't like a ghostly vapor or anything. This looked like the back of a man, a few feet away from me walking by my couch. It only seemed otherworldly when he stepped through the wall.

So is it possible to dream things with your eyes open?

I couldn't move. I wanted to make some sort of "holy shit" kind of vocalization but couldn't. Another weird thing about it all was I was actually rather calm about it. Typically I can be pretty jumpy at night but I was almost paralyzed from this experience. He didn't feel like a threat of any kind so I don't even know if fear is the accurate word to use. His walk was very slow and if he had noticed me at all, it was before I actually opened my eyes. He just walked up to my wall and went right through it.

After a few seconds of processing what I saw I remember thinking that if this was real and if he was some sort of spirit or whatever that he probably means me no harm. I then closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

If it was a dream it was hands down the most surreal dream I have ever had. And I did it with my eyes open. And if it was some paranormal experience then I don't know what to say.

First what the hell are they doing wandering around? The last thing I want to do is wander around after I die. Was there a purpose for his visit? He didn't say anything or turn back and look at me after I opened my eyes. The feeling that woke me up was pretty crazy though. The actual thought of it now is more scary than the experience. I was definitely in an almost trance like state from having just woken up but the fact is something happened that stirred me and I saw something when I opened my eyes. Who knows.

I know my grandmother has nursed several people to a peaceful death and she tells me stories of these people all having similar experiences right around the moments of their passing, saying they see people who aren't there etc. Its always been fascinating to me but something I decided not to spend too much time speculating about. Either way I don't feel like I am in any danger.

The really funny thing is I have another night in that apartment on that couch. I think Ill turn the kitchen light on or something.

feast or famine part II

Before I make my way into Austin's robust night life I feel like continuing the last post. Hell this could become a complete series, its that interesting to me.

First, the recordings are coming along VERY NICELY. I am loving a big portion of what we are doing.

anyway.

I don't really dress up much when I go out. There's something about wearing an oversized collared shirt and black shoes etc etc that makes me feel homogeneous and boring. Being a skinny guy I feel that I look best when I actually wear clothes that accentuate my frame rather than conceal it.

Which gets me thinking about attraction. I cant lie and say that my build doesn't affect my self esteem at times. I guess I could start working out but it would take a whole lot of it to get me beyond the point of being overly thin. I did it for awhile and I got very cut but still remained super thin. It really didn't make a difference in my dating life at all.

So the bottom line is attraction really isn't about that. I feel like I have dated some exceptionally beautiful women who really dug me physically. I have also seen that face of "ew he is sooo skinny". Once again its a numbers game and it all comes down to personal choice.

Of course the cool thing about women that I have found is a lot of their attraction is based on factors independent of looks. I have started with very neutral women and by a combination of teasing and complete lack of concern for her opinions have "created" attraction where there was none before.

And here comes that whole metaphysical thing again. It surrounds us and its real and can be applied here as well...

You can shape your reality by your thoughts alone. If you think you are the shit, strangely enough so will other people. I didn't say be a dick. Confidence and arrogance are separate things.

I knew some very normal looking women that thought they were the shit so lo and behold I suddenly began questioning myself. "Look at her. She thinks she is the shit. Well....Maybe she is the shit...hmm."

So tonight I am going to go out and celebrate my friend Jay's birthday. Its a beautiful evening, I am just getting my life started and I have so much the be thankful for. Good job, good band, good friends, good family, good fucking life.

So bring on the wispy, lithe and nubile 20 somethings in summer evening dresses.