Adios

For no particular reason I have decided to end this blog.

It started out as me basically documenting the rise and fall of my band. That was a fun time in my life. Aside from the egos and hurt feelings I really enjoyed performing and creating. I often wonder if that will ever be a reality for me again.

This post is particularly interesting to me:

http://meaningfullyabsurd.blogspot.com/2011/05/last-show-for-awhile.html

Every prediction, including the one about my ex, was 100% accurate. It was my last time performing as a band and I knew it. It has a loneliness to it yet somehow I can still find value and beauty in that moment.

As far as the readers of this blog go, there were a handful. Literally a handful. Some strangers came through due to my post about Loreece making the top Google rankings. I sometimes wonder who those people are.

http://meaningfullyabsurd.blogspot.com/2009/07/loreece-lynn-pentecost.html

My favorite posts are the dreams I documented and just the little experiences I had that I would have totally forgotten about had I not written them down. This one is my favorite dream. I think about it a lot.

http://meaningfullyabsurd.blogspot.com/2010/11/dream.html

If you use the search bar at the top and type "dream" then all my dream posts come up. I'll probably return to this the most when I revisit this blog from time to time.

There is always a sort of niavete with my writing that interests me. I read my posts back and see myself as someone less wise than I am now. But strangely I would feel this way as I was writing the posts so not sure what that means exactly. Possibly because I was aware that people other than myself would read this and I was doing it for them... (?)

My career trajectory is also documented here. This interests no one but me but I enjoy seeing the process of going from employee to self-employed to becoming an LLC. And the up and down fluctuations of income that come with self-employment. The doubt. The satisfaction of success that you are alone responsible for.

I'm still single and have been for most of the time I was active on here. Probably a nice, deep psychological reason for it that I don't feel like dissecting. I still enjoy performing and will continue to find hobbies that let me do that. Comedy, music... A lot of things interest me. Travel will continue to be a big part of my life. I hope to continue seeing more of the world and meeting new and interesting people. And I may start up a new blog documenting all this. But this blog feels done.

One thing I noticed as I age is I am less and less concerned with reveling in the melodrama of life. Something about aging strips the bullshit and naval gazing from you and you just want to document things clearly and let the beauty of the moment come from that rather than turn it into War and Peace and force it down someone's throat. I think its just a natural progression of coming to terms with the meaningfully absurd nature of life (see what I did there?) and letting it just be what it is. There are no sunsets we ride off into. Thats fiction. I'm going to go drink coffee and get my tires rotated after I finish the final letter of this blog.

I'm blown away by time's passing and think how Ill be in my mid 40's when the same amount of time passes. But that's also nice because I am young. Not 29 young but I think I have a lot of time left. Or maybe I don't. I hope I do. Who the fuck knows.

In the end its all about the little things.

http://meaningfullyabsurd.blogspot.com/2011/07/this-is-my-501st-post.html

http://meaningfullyabsurd.blogspot.com/2011/08/5-more-moments-of-awesome.html

Thanks for reading Kevin. :P