missing everyone

I'm losing friends left and right. Some are about to/or have physically left town. And if they aren't leaving, life is giving them priorities that will inevitably cause us to lose contact. It sucks but I guess its just something we have to all deal with as we get older.

Now I am aware that technology has made keeping in touch with people much easier. But still I feel a deep sense of loss lately. A string of people I feel closely connected to are going to inevitably lose touch (how much remains to be seen)

Whats the solution for that lonely feeling that comes with growing up?

Option 1 - Marry and have children

This seems to be what most people pick. Create your own little fast lane of life and get a few people on board with you so you are all flying forward in the same relative direction. Nothing wrong with this but its definitely not my life right now or something I am considering in the near future.

Option 2 - Have a perpetual rotation of new people in your life

This is what I seem to be experiencing. The problem is making new friends gets tougher as you get older. Sure you have acquaintances but making brand new, solid friendships is hard. People are set in their ways. It takes an honest effort and our comfort zones grow thick and solid as we age.

I never want to settle down with a woman simply because I gave up this fight. Loneliness is not an excuse to get married for me. And even marriage is no excuse for me to lose touch with people I had the fortune of connecting with.

I have always wanted an atypical life. The concept of the white picket fence sounds incredibly boring to me. I fear the boredom of putting all my social eggs in one basket. But the opposite of that is a constant cast of rotating people in your life and saying goodbye all the fucking time. I believe most people settle on a watered down hybrid where they pair up with someone and then have a few friends they touch base with every so often. Its just too hard to have both lives for most people.

Of course I see the flaws in these thoughts. I would like to believe you can have both a robust life of friends and family. I'm sure its done. It just seems so hard to achieve with the simple human nature of funneling our lives into such small social spaces.

Is it an American or a human problem? Is it only a problem to me? Do I have to settle for one or the other?

Honestly I think its possible to have both. But a few things have to be in place.

1. You have to have a partner that doesn't horde your time and wants you to have a life outside of just them (and your kids if you have them).

2. Then you have to have friends with similarly-minded partners.

3. Finally these friends need a strong desire to make this aspect of their lives a priority also.

There's the rub! That's a whole lot of mature and selfless relationships going on. That's a rearranging of priorities few ever realize is so important until its too late. Or maybe its just too hard to do.

Are we destined to just say goodbye to most people we meet?