lately im either in a fantastic mood or restless and anxious. That's my two choices. No calm middle ground that most people seem to live in.
I'm trying to piece together the reasons I have a constant permeating dis-ease. Restless. From what I can tell on the surface is partly this self employment thing I bring up over and over again. It really puts me in a weird place sometimes. Isolation distorts everything and leads you down some very dark alleys.
Another possibility... I'd like to have a woman in my life. Its not that I don't have options. Hung out with one last night. But like the others, this one is not right for me either and I know it. The last thing i want to be is rigid to the point of never being with someone but these women I have been meeting lately don't feel right. And the ones I really think would be cool are hesitant. Dating sucks sometimes.
Financially Im okay. Of course I have an anything can happen mindset and think at any moment I could lose it. My motivation to really excel and find new clients and other income streams is low.
I think overall I dont really know what the hell I am doing. I dont have something driving me to wake up and seize the moment. Its not money. I know that wont do it. Its not fame with music. I lost that desire a few years ago. Its not hot women. That pleasure is short lived and ego based and usually dissappointing.
Its like all these things are an itch that never really gets scratched. And most people are tricked into thinking that the lack of satisfaction from trying to scratch it means we need more, or some other incarnation of it. Its BS. Theres something else that will satisfy fully and life is the pursuit of that ultimate scratch. Still trying to figure out what that is. I have some ideas.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Birthday 33 and stuff
Birthday was good.
I had a few people join me at the Ginger Man. Michelle wrapped kitty litter as a joke birthday present. An already opened box. I did not bring it home with me.
I did get pretty drunk. A gal I went to college with that I see every now and then was out at the same venue and she approached me and gave me a hug. I then drunkenly said things that made her get mad and walk away.
I vaguely remember but I think I said something about her divorce and called her a Black Widow now that she's single. Something like that. That was the beginning of a string of things I said that lead to her just walking away. I felt pretty bad about it but its pretty hilarious also. My filter was haywire and my drunken banter didnt go over so well. I wrote her and apologized.
I have a third date tomorrow night with a gal I meet at an internet marketing event. I will say nothing more at this time about that.
33. Holy Jeeze that sounds old. I have some goals set that I want to hit before 34. I think I can do it!
My cat pukes once every day. Still trying to figure that one out.
I went to Dallas this weekend to visit my Grandmother for her birthday. My aunt bought a cake and we had a little mini dual birthday thing with myself, my mother, my aunt and my grandmother. I grilled shishkabobs. I have never had to spell that in print before and I have no clue if that is accurate. Pretty sure its not but I am not Googling it.
Working out still. Lots of cute women at the gym. But not much opportunity to say anything. "I see you are blasting your quads." "Nice form."
Sometimes when I am working out everything suddenly seems surreal. Like as if I were an alien coming down to earth and watching all these people sitting and moving in strange machines, rolling on giant inflatable orbs and moving their bodies in weird ways, grunting and sweating. If I didnt know what was going on it would seem so weird and random.
I had a few people join me at the Ginger Man. Michelle wrapped kitty litter as a joke birthday present. An already opened box. I did not bring it home with me.
I did get pretty drunk. A gal I went to college with that I see every now and then was out at the same venue and she approached me and gave me a hug. I then drunkenly said things that made her get mad and walk away.
I vaguely remember but I think I said something about her divorce and called her a Black Widow now that she's single. Something like that. That was the beginning of a string of things I said that lead to her just walking away. I felt pretty bad about it but its pretty hilarious also. My filter was haywire and my drunken banter didnt go over so well. I wrote her and apologized.
I have a third date tomorrow night with a gal I meet at an internet marketing event. I will say nothing more at this time about that.
33. Holy Jeeze that sounds old. I have some goals set that I want to hit before 34. I think I can do it!
My cat pukes once every day. Still trying to figure that one out.
I went to Dallas this weekend to visit my Grandmother for her birthday. My aunt bought a cake and we had a little mini dual birthday thing with myself, my mother, my aunt and my grandmother. I grilled shishkabobs. I have never had to spell that in print before and I have no clue if that is accurate. Pretty sure its not but I am not Googling it.
Working out still. Lots of cute women at the gym. But not much opportunity to say anything. "I see you are blasting your quads." "Nice form."
Sometimes when I am working out everything suddenly seems surreal. Like as if I were an alien coming down to earth and watching all these people sitting and moving in strange machines, rolling on giant inflatable orbs and moving their bodies in weird ways, grunting and sweating. If I didnt know what was going on it would seem so weird and random.
Monday, September 19, 2011
mojo
i think i got it back. I have been having a string of cool, effortless experiences with women. Its a combination of sacking up and not being a whiny little vaj about my situation, working out (endorphins, libido etc) and just remembering how awesome I can be. ;)
Nothing's changed in regards to the nature of this big scary dating landscape. Its still a numbers game. I got a gals number on the tram to ACL this weekend. PHD in biology. Tall. Beautiful. The speed at which she gave me the number will probably lead to a flake but we had a great conversation on the ride over there. I texted her today saying we should meet up this week and talk nucleic acids. Thats pretty funny. My texting is probably the most solid tool I have going for me right now.
The difference in old me and new me is that I actually want to make a real connection with someone and have it pan out to a great relationship. Its not about getting laid or just doing it for the sake of doing it anymore. But the initial interactions are exactly the same it would seem. Somewhere in the process is going to be the split in mindset and intent.
ACL was great. I only saw a few bands but they were all amazing. Elbow was just exactly as I hoped they would be. They were gracious, entertaining and incredible sounding.
Arcade Fire definitely deserves their stadium size crowds also. They put on a hell of a show.
Nothing's changed in regards to the nature of this big scary dating landscape. Its still a numbers game. I got a gals number on the tram to ACL this weekend. PHD in biology. Tall. Beautiful. The speed at which she gave me the number will probably lead to a flake but we had a great conversation on the ride over there. I texted her today saying we should meet up this week and talk nucleic acids. Thats pretty funny. My texting is probably the most solid tool I have going for me right now.
The difference in old me and new me is that I actually want to make a real connection with someone and have it pan out to a great relationship. Its not about getting laid or just doing it for the sake of doing it anymore. But the initial interactions are exactly the same it would seem. Somewhere in the process is going to be the split in mindset and intent.
ACL was great. I only saw a few bands but they were all amazing. Elbow was just exactly as I hoped they would be. They were gracious, entertaining and incredible sounding.
Arcade Fire definitely deserves their stadium size crowds also. They put on a hell of a show.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
wrote a new song. Slow. Sad. But I dig it. I sometimes think about how its hard to be happy and write songs. The emotion is just so much harder to capture in a compelling way.
Now lonliness, loss, regret, thats the good stuff. At most Ill get a bittersweet vibe going and that has that spark of hope. Actually a couple songs on the album I wrote have a positive vibe so that's not entirely true. But sad songs are definitely easier to write.
And I've had a pretty rough couple of months to be honest. I am anxious a lot and frequently in low spirits. I believe its intensified with my work-from-home situation but drinks with friends and occasional songwriting is the shred of sanity that puts me back together again.
I need people whose company I enjoy. I need people who enjoy my company. My birthday is coming up and a few folks have expressed interest in going out that Friday. This makes me happy because birthdays are always a bit sad to me for some reason. I'd like them to be more festive but its usually just another day. And I probably wont even get laid this birthday :)
Jeeze I sound like Eeyore over here.
Onward...
We met as a band to discuss our percentages of the song ownership as far as publishing goes. It was amicable. Some songs I have little share while others I take most. The guys wanted to have it be a weighted percentage but I argued that we live in a world of singles and in all likelihood one or two songs will be picked up and possibly used in some way. So we need to decide who did what for each song in anticipation of that.
Yep its all business at this point. The inspiration is a hazy memory, I dont even remember how we wrote these songs it was so long ago. Im ready to hear the worlds opinion. I can predict the criticism pretty well, its the praise that I am highly curious of.
Now lonliness, loss, regret, thats the good stuff. At most Ill get a bittersweet vibe going and that has that spark of hope. Actually a couple songs on the album I wrote have a positive vibe so that's not entirely true. But sad songs are definitely easier to write.
And I've had a pretty rough couple of months to be honest. I am anxious a lot and frequently in low spirits. I believe its intensified with my work-from-home situation but drinks with friends and occasional songwriting is the shred of sanity that puts me back together again.
I need people whose company I enjoy. I need people who enjoy my company. My birthday is coming up and a few folks have expressed interest in going out that Friday. This makes me happy because birthdays are always a bit sad to me for some reason. I'd like them to be more festive but its usually just another day. And I probably wont even get laid this birthday :)
Jeeze I sound like Eeyore over here.
Onward...
We met as a band to discuss our percentages of the song ownership as far as publishing goes. It was amicable. Some songs I have little share while others I take most. The guys wanted to have it be a weighted percentage but I argued that we live in a world of singles and in all likelihood one or two songs will be picked up and possibly used in some way. So we need to decide who did what for each song in anticipation of that.
Yep its all business at this point. The inspiration is a hazy memory, I dont even remember how we wrote these songs it was so long ago. Im ready to hear the worlds opinion. I can predict the criticism pretty well, its the praise that I am highly curious of.
Monday, September 12, 2011
flights to panama look to be about 1000 after taxes. The good thing is once you get there everything is very cheap. We found an apt we could rent for about 200 for the entire week.
Snorkleing, rainforests its a lot like Costa Rica and I found that to be a beautiful country. My client tells me that Panama is better it just doesnt have the same PR. He lives in the penthouse of a downtown highrise. We might get to stay with him a night or so.
The group is very stoked. So far its myself and at least 2 guys. One girl friend of mine if she can swing it. Everyone is very excited and ready to take a vacation. We are planning on March which seems like a long time from now but 6 months is nothing these days.
Ive actually been in this apt for 5 already and that is pretty amazing to me.
Tonight is the Tea Party debate. It promises to rise above talking points and focus primarily on the economy. I hope Perry and Romney fall on their big faces.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Lets make sure no one ever reads this blog again.
Love... music... cats... meh. Lets get get crotchety.
I've been keeping up with politics more than ever.
And while I truly believe the highest form of knowledge is the understanding you know next to nothing about anything, I still have began forming opinions about the society I live in and the inner workings of it... and my feelings about the folks who attempt to run it. And now, the media outlets that are responsible for disseminating the information.
I don't trust the media anymore. Of course I always knew not to, but lately it feels that are just as biased and unethical as the politicians.
The recent debates stand out to me as perfect evidence of this. We are facing one of the most intense economic situations this country has ever faced. More now than ever we need REAL conversations about whats to be done.
Yet the debates were a thinly veiled attempt to pit Romney and Perry against each other. It was a disgrace and proof that the media has little concern about finding answers to our problems but rather treat the situation as if it were a WWF match.
It feels as if everyone up there is a shell of a person with fake tans and nice white teeth saying well rehearsed rhetoric they think the people want to hear. And behind the scenes were the moderators, cleverly asking all the wrong questions and shooting for drama rather than actual discourse.
And you-know-who got about 3 questions out of the entire 2 hour debate. What a joke. What a sad and eye opening joke. The one guy who has written BOOKS about the economy doesn't get a single question thrown his way.
I think the main problem is that the average person has little to no knowledge of how our economy works. Fractional reserve lending, the Fed and other topics are hazy topics for most people.
Example: the Fed is not a true govt entity. They are a private company. The same people who fucking RUN our economy have an interest in making profits for themselves. Bankers control our economy. Yet the populace sees Bernanke on the cover of Time and think he must be a great guy doing all that good money stuff for us busy Americans.
I have a friend who fancies himself a political guy and he was shocked when I informed him we are a fiat economy with nothing backing our currency. He argued with me at first but realized I was certain. Its not his fault but its a perfect example of whats going on. I lent him End the Fed and hes actually reading it so I am happy for that. (and I admit, I need to have a solid counterargument to the book because I am pretty biased)
You cant care enough about a topic you know little to nothing about. And sadly this is a huge chunk of Americans. They hear we are in trouble but don't exactly understand why. There is no historical context, no financial awareness and little desire to learn.
And if and when shit hits the fan we will be scrambling to ask ourselves why. Why is a loaf of bread suddenly $150. What happened? Why did every country just bail on the dollar? What happened to the middle class? Only then will we as a country start to try to sort things out in a real way.
Im not on a high horse because I only recently began trying to cure my ignorance. And I admittedly know little. But I know more than most. And I have to sit back and watch the media force feed us who the winning candidates are and NONE of the deemed frontrunners know a thing about it. And no one is going to school us in time to make a change.
For the first time it actually seems as if the govt is no more educated and prepared to handle our situation as the guy sitting next to me in this coffee shop. And the outlets that are supposed to make us aware of this travesty have their own agendas as well.
Yeah I need to get laid or something.
I've been keeping up with politics more than ever.
And while I truly believe the highest form of knowledge is the understanding you know next to nothing about anything, I still have began forming opinions about the society I live in and the inner workings of it... and my feelings about the folks who attempt to run it. And now, the media outlets that are responsible for disseminating the information.
I don't trust the media anymore. Of course I always knew not to, but lately it feels that are just as biased and unethical as the politicians.
The recent debates stand out to me as perfect evidence of this. We are facing one of the most intense economic situations this country has ever faced. More now than ever we need REAL conversations about whats to be done.
Yet the debates were a thinly veiled attempt to pit Romney and Perry against each other. It was a disgrace and proof that the media has little concern about finding answers to our problems but rather treat the situation as if it were a WWF match.
It feels as if everyone up there is a shell of a person with fake tans and nice white teeth saying well rehearsed rhetoric they think the people want to hear. And behind the scenes were the moderators, cleverly asking all the wrong questions and shooting for drama rather than actual discourse.
And you-know-who got about 3 questions out of the entire 2 hour debate. What a joke. What a sad and eye opening joke. The one guy who has written BOOKS about the economy doesn't get a single question thrown his way.
I think the main problem is that the average person has little to no knowledge of how our economy works. Fractional reserve lending, the Fed and other topics are hazy topics for most people.
Example: the Fed is not a true govt entity. They are a private company. The same people who fucking RUN our economy have an interest in making profits for themselves. Bankers control our economy. Yet the populace sees Bernanke on the cover of Time and think he must be a great guy doing all that good money stuff for us busy Americans.
I have a friend who fancies himself a political guy and he was shocked when I informed him we are a fiat economy with nothing backing our currency. He argued with me at first but realized I was certain. Its not his fault but its a perfect example of whats going on. I lent him End the Fed and hes actually reading it so I am happy for that. (and I admit, I need to have a solid counterargument to the book because I am pretty biased)
You cant care enough about a topic you know little to nothing about. And sadly this is a huge chunk of Americans. They hear we are in trouble but don't exactly understand why. There is no historical context, no financial awareness and little desire to learn.
And if and when shit hits the fan we will be scrambling to ask ourselves why. Why is a loaf of bread suddenly $150. What happened? Why did every country just bail on the dollar? What happened to the middle class? Only then will we as a country start to try to sort things out in a real way.
Im not on a high horse because I only recently began trying to cure my ignorance. And I admittedly know little. But I know more than most. And I have to sit back and watch the media force feed us who the winning candidates are and NONE of the deemed frontrunners know a thing about it. And no one is going to school us in time to make a change.
For the first time it actually seems as if the govt is no more educated and prepared to handle our situation as the guy sitting next to me in this coffee shop. And the outlets that are supposed to make us aware of this travesty have their own agendas as well.
Yeah I need to get laid or something.
Random
Things are looking good for me financially. Stuff in the pipe that should turn out well. Several people are wanting to outsource work to me, one client wants me to start blogging for their company, I get calls sometimes from people who heard about me. This is cool. Its good because I have too many eggs in one basket at this time and I need to diversify. I did a pretty impressive thing for my client. Its boring to talk about but its something that I immediately pounced on and requested my bonus structure be reevaluated. Hopefully that will work out too.
This cat. Its cute. Its loving. But I watch it walk out of that litterbox and traipse around my small apartment and it freaks me out. I clean every day like the place was a zoo. I honestly go back and forth with keeping her.
I think this gal lost interest. She was a handful and Im probably better off.
I hope I can afford Panama.
I am going to Boston in November.
I think sanity has a lot to do with looking forward to something. I think most people are clinically insane to some degree or at least have periods where this is the case. Maybe Im just projecting. But it seems mental health is always in flux.
This cat. Its cute. Its loving. But I watch it walk out of that litterbox and traipse around my small apartment and it freaks me out. I clean every day like the place was a zoo. I honestly go back and forth with keeping her.
I think this gal lost interest. She was a handful and Im probably better off.
I hope I can afford Panama.
I am going to Boston in November.
I think sanity has a lot to do with looking forward to something. I think most people are clinically insane to some degree or at least have periods where this is the case. Maybe Im just projecting. But it seems mental health is always in flux.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
re: Art of Loving
Near the end of it. The final chapters are killer. Fromme breaks down the various reasons for the collapse of love in modern Western society. The illusions that are considered love. The neurosis' of many people who believe the emotion to be love but rather the total opposite. The mental blocks formed in early childhood from bad relationships with Father and Mother that will create twisted versions of love. Man its heavy.
Scary how the book makes it seem most people will never experience real love. It takes a centered-ness that few people will ever know. I think everyone should check the book out.
Here is an okay breakdown for those that prefer a cliff notes version:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Loving
Scary how the book makes it seem most people will never experience real love. It takes a centered-ness that few people will ever know. I think everyone should check the book out.
Here is an okay breakdown for those that prefer a cliff notes version:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Loving
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
the heat is gone today. Its a beautiful austin day.
This was a pretty unbearable summer as far as the heat and humidity was concerned. Awful. But once this town cools off its pretty magical. And it stays mild until the next grueling summer.
Don't know about this gal. We hung out once more. I dig her enough to see what happens. She seems to like me. But I feel like the tides could change at any moment if they haven't already.
Friend of mine wants to start a little business with me. I am leery of doing business with friends. Hes gung ho about it and wants to use some of the momentum that I have generated around town to generate more clients and start a little thing with it.
Of course I could do this myself. But having another person to spread out the duties and expenses would be nice. But I hear horror stories of friends working together.
I am not feeling anything today. Low energy. No motivation. Kinda blah.
Actually thats a lie. I feel pretty bad today. More than blah. Its a combination of things. A mini perfect storm turning my glasses the color of shit. I try to stay positive with this blog but today Im not feeling it.
This was a pretty unbearable summer as far as the heat and humidity was concerned. Awful. But once this town cools off its pretty magical. And it stays mild until the next grueling summer.
Don't know about this gal. We hung out once more. I dig her enough to see what happens. She seems to like me. But I feel like the tides could change at any moment if they haven't already.
Friend of mine wants to start a little business with me. I am leery of doing business with friends. Hes gung ho about it and wants to use some of the momentum that I have generated around town to generate more clients and start a little thing with it.
Of course I could do this myself. But having another person to spread out the duties and expenses would be nice. But I hear horror stories of friends working together.
I am not feeling anything today. Low energy. No motivation. Kinda blah.
Actually thats a lie. I feel pretty bad today. More than blah. Its a combination of things. A mini perfect storm turning my glasses the color of shit. I try to stay positive with this blog but today Im not feeling it.
Friday, September 2, 2011
You Cant Hurry Love
It was going so well.
We met at a patio for happy hour. Great conversation the entire time. She was smart. Laid back. Admitted similar quirks as me. She was adorable.
We were getting tipsy. Getting more and more comfortable saying stupid things. Potty jokes. It was going great. A client of mine had a birthday going that night at a place downtown. She said she'd join me if I wanted her to go. What could go wrong?
Heh.
We show up and the birthday boy (owner) swoops in with subtle flirtiness. Shes hot so i expect a certain level of this kind of thing. The problem was she took the bait and was too receptive for my tastes. Yes I know it was a first date and I should not have expectations but it seems to me that when you go as someones date you should stick by them, be polite and mingle. She went in guns blazing. The owners fiance pounces with the whole "Hi nice to meet you Im his wife" etc.
I was embarrassed and let down. Now Im faced with a delimma.
Old me would put her in the Not Long Term Material box and have some fun with her. But I want to start making decisions for the long term. Also Im not even sure the situation warrants me blowing her off entirely. By most people's accounts she was being a little overly social and nothing more. My problem is I read into everything. Should I give her another shot? I don't know. I cant let her cuteness blind me on this.
Not to mention the snake-like nature of the (engaged) owner doing what he did. I saw it. Few people would be able to recognize it but I know he knew exactly what he was doing. This speaks volumes for his character and its filed away in my brain as a little pink flag. You cant trust any guy when you have a beautiful woman beside you. Its a vigilance that is often not worth the reward. I should have declined her request to come and got to know her better. Damn it.
Im not even sure women are always consciously aware of what they are doing sometimes. This guy was the alpha of the group. The owner. The birthday boy. Smooth talker. Her biology pulls her to that. But my biology is also at play in my life and I know when to choose to run with it or hold back and be tactful. She wasn't humping his leg but she was near him as much as possible, asked me what his name was, etc. Tiny little things that have no weight as a single piece of evidence. Yet put together I think she was rude and insensitive to me.
Now do I get in her panties or continue the adult quest. Can I do both?
Positive Spin: I think I can hold my own in the dating world again. My approach with her was flawless. Our first date was great up until we changed venues. I was funny, relaxed and out of my head enough to be present in the moment. I can do this.
Oh and she left the party early to do something (possibly because she felt my interest in her shift?) so I started chatting up another gal in the group. It too was going great. I ask for the phone number at the end of the night and she said "okay but I have a boyfriend" and preceded to still put her number in. WTF?
So my date texted me this morning asking if I had fun. She definitely likes me. I really dont know what to do. Our connection on the patio was real. She speaks about the world very maturely and seems concerned about her own self awareness. I was super impressed. She said before we left that she was going to help me get work from the client so I wonder if she actually had genuine good intentions... That and she might have wanted to schmooze for her own career advancement. All of this might have just been misguided by being a little drunk. I dont know I dont know I dont know.
We met at a patio for happy hour. Great conversation the entire time. She was smart. Laid back. Admitted similar quirks as me. She was adorable.
We were getting tipsy. Getting more and more comfortable saying stupid things. Potty jokes. It was going great. A client of mine had a birthday going that night at a place downtown. She said she'd join me if I wanted her to go. What could go wrong?
Heh.
We show up and the birthday boy (owner) swoops in with subtle flirtiness. Shes hot so i expect a certain level of this kind of thing. The problem was she took the bait and was too receptive for my tastes. Yes I know it was a first date and I should not have expectations but it seems to me that when you go as someones date you should stick by them, be polite and mingle. She went in guns blazing. The owners fiance pounces with the whole "Hi nice to meet you Im his wife" etc.
I was embarrassed and let down. Now Im faced with a delimma.
Old me would put her in the Not Long Term Material box and have some fun with her. But I want to start making decisions for the long term. Also Im not even sure the situation warrants me blowing her off entirely. By most people's accounts she was being a little overly social and nothing more. My problem is I read into everything. Should I give her another shot? I don't know. I cant let her cuteness blind me on this.
Not to mention the snake-like nature of the (engaged) owner doing what he did. I saw it. Few people would be able to recognize it but I know he knew exactly what he was doing. This speaks volumes for his character and its filed away in my brain as a little pink flag. You cant trust any guy when you have a beautiful woman beside you. Its a vigilance that is often not worth the reward. I should have declined her request to come and got to know her better. Damn it.
Im not even sure women are always consciously aware of what they are doing sometimes. This guy was the alpha of the group. The owner. The birthday boy. Smooth talker. Her biology pulls her to that. But my biology is also at play in my life and I know when to choose to run with it or hold back and be tactful. She wasn't humping his leg but she was near him as much as possible, asked me what his name was, etc. Tiny little things that have no weight as a single piece of evidence. Yet put together I think she was rude and insensitive to me.
Now do I get in her panties or continue the adult quest. Can I do both?
Positive Spin: I think I can hold my own in the dating world again. My approach with her was flawless. Our first date was great up until we changed venues. I was funny, relaxed and out of my head enough to be present in the moment. I can do this.
Oh and she left the party early to do something (possibly because she felt my interest in her shift?) so I started chatting up another gal in the group. It too was going great. I ask for the phone number at the end of the night and she said "okay but I have a boyfriend" and preceded to still put her number in. WTF?
So my date texted me this morning asking if I had fun. She definitely likes me. I really dont know what to do. Our connection on the patio was real. She speaks about the world very maturely and seems concerned about her own self awareness. I was super impressed. She said before we left that she was going to help me get work from the client so I wonder if she actually had genuine good intentions... That and she might have wanted to schmooze for her own career advancement. All of this might have just been misguided by being a little drunk. I dont know I dont know I dont know.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
- hitting up happy hour today with a lady I met the other night.
Part of me is predicting a flake. Its often par for the course. We will see. She is very very cute. Very very.
- enjoying working out. some of my muscles feel like Ive been beaten with a 2x4. I probably overdid it a bit. I am getting more and more comfortable doing my thing there. I figured it would be a bunch of super buff guys but its mostly normal folk. Pretty ladies though.
- changing my diet to facilitate the workout routine. I ate something on 5 separate occasions yesterday. That's 3.5 times more then when I normally eat. Chicken breast, brown rice, green vegetables. Healthy meals that I actually take time to prepare.
- Meeting more potential clients. This is good.
- Enjoying the cat more. Still get weirded out with the thought of her using that litterbox and then walking around my apt. I clean a lot more because of her which cant be a bad thing. She found a very high spot in my apartment on top of my cabinets that she likes to hang out on. She sort of follows me around and hangs out near me with whatever I am doing. I mind less and less.
- I am really starting to get worried about a coming financial crisis. And for the most selfish of reasons. I picture a landscape where no one goes out, no one can afford to do anything and I am stuck in this apartment with no one to hang out with or talk to, scrambling to make money so I can afford to stay here.
Hell it might even be something where the power shuts off and the grocery stores cant hold a thing so that fear is probably tame compared to the actual possibilities.
Im hoping my sources of information are at least overblowing the possible catastrophe. I know countries have gone through hpyerinflation and gotten out. I should at least prepare for a few months of craziness while everything resets.
Part of me is predicting a flake. Its often par for the course. We will see. She is very very cute. Very very.
- enjoying working out. some of my muscles feel like Ive been beaten with a 2x4. I probably overdid it a bit. I am getting more and more comfortable doing my thing there. I figured it would be a bunch of super buff guys but its mostly normal folk. Pretty ladies though.
- changing my diet to facilitate the workout routine. I ate something on 5 separate occasions yesterday. That's 3.5 times more then when I normally eat. Chicken breast, brown rice, green vegetables. Healthy meals that I actually take time to prepare.
- Meeting more potential clients. This is good.
- Enjoying the cat more. Still get weirded out with the thought of her using that litterbox and then walking around my apt. I clean a lot more because of her which cant be a bad thing. She found a very high spot in my apartment on top of my cabinets that she likes to hang out on. She sort of follows me around and hangs out near me with whatever I am doing. I mind less and less.
- I am really starting to get worried about a coming financial crisis. And for the most selfish of reasons. I picture a landscape where no one goes out, no one can afford to do anything and I am stuck in this apartment with no one to hang out with or talk to, scrambling to make money so I can afford to stay here.
Hell it might even be something where the power shuts off and the grocery stores cant hold a thing so that fear is probably tame compared to the actual possibilities.
Im hoping my sources of information are at least overblowing the possible catastrophe. I know countries have gone through hpyerinflation and gotten out. I should at least prepare for a few months of craziness while everything resets.
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