You Cant Hurry Love

It was going so well.

We met at a patio for happy hour. Great conversation the entire time. She was smart. Laid back. Admitted similar quirks as me. She was adorable.

We were getting tipsy. Getting more and more comfortable saying stupid things. Potty jokes. It was going great. A client of mine had a birthday going that night at a place downtown. She said she'd join me if I wanted her to go. What could go wrong?

Heh.

We show up and the birthday boy (owner) swoops in with subtle flirtiness. Shes hot so i expect a certain level of this kind of thing. The problem was she took the bait and was too receptive for my tastes. Yes I know it was a first date and I should not have expectations but it seems to me that when you go as someones date you should stick by them, be polite and mingle. She went in guns blazing. The owners fiance pounces with the whole "Hi nice to meet you Im his wife" etc.

I was embarrassed and let down. Now Im faced with a delimma.

Old me would put her in the Not Long Term Material box and have some fun with her. But I want to start making decisions for the long term. Also Im not even sure the situation warrants me blowing her off entirely. By most people's accounts she was being a little overly social and nothing more. My problem is I read into everything. Should I give her another shot? I don't know. I cant let her cuteness blind me on this.

Not to mention the snake-like nature of the (engaged) owner doing what he did. I saw it. Few people would be able to recognize it but I know he knew exactly what he was doing. This speaks volumes for his character and its filed away in my brain as a little pink flag. You cant trust any guy when you have a beautiful woman beside you. Its a vigilance that is often not worth the reward. I should have declined her request to come and got to know her better. Damn it.

Im not even sure women are always consciously aware of what they are doing sometimes. This guy was the alpha of the group. The owner. The birthday boy. Smooth talker. Her biology pulls her to that. But my biology is also at play in my life and I know when to choose to run with it or hold back and be tactful. She wasn't humping his leg but she was near him as much as possible, asked me what his name was, etc. Tiny little things that have no weight as a single piece of evidence. Yet put together I think she was rude and insensitive to me.

Now do I get in her panties or continue the adult quest. Can I do both?

Positive Spin: I think I can hold my own in the dating world again. My approach with her was flawless. Our first date was great up until we changed venues. I was funny, relaxed and out of my head enough to be present in the moment. I can do this.

Oh and she left the party early to do something (possibly because she felt my interest in her shift?) so I started chatting up another gal in the group. It too was going great. I ask for the phone number at the end of the night and she said "okay but I have a boyfriend" and preceded to still put her number in. WTF?

So my date texted me this morning asking if I had fun. She definitely likes me. I really dont know what to do. Our connection on the patio was real. She speaks about the world very maturely and seems concerned about her own self awareness. I was super impressed. She said before we left that she was going to help me get work from the client so I wonder if she actually had genuine good intentions... That and she might have wanted to schmooze for her own career advancement. All of this might have just been misguided by being a little drunk. I dont know I dont know I dont know.