"10 Locals to Watch in 2010"

According to the Austin Chronicle:

Dikes of Holland, Smoke & Feathers, the Downtown Rulers Club, Way No Way, the No No No Hopes, Edison Chair, the White White Lights, Los Bad Apples, Legs Against Arms, Fingaar Bangaar

still going

http://www.101x.com/NextBigThing/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10077356

Friday WAS good.

Great show. Fantastic soundguy. Daniel/Michael's parents were there. The owner liked us. We played solid. I fell into that confortable vocal thing. A stranger came on to me hardcore. =P

San Antonio tomorrow night. The lowest of pressure shows. The highest pay. Go figure.

long term

We got together and skipped practice to talk business.

Looks like we are going to do a Texas tour in March, shows until late July.

Then we block off Aug-Sept to stage the LP... plan overdubs, additional parts, harmonies etc.

We are then taking off 2 weeks from our job in October to record said LP.

Future Perfect Radio

They are playing us here. Right alongside Phoenix, Animal Collective etc.

http://www.futureperfectradio.com/

Representing Chicago!!!

marathon -level dreaming

Last night was just a bunch of crazy ass dreams. Im exhausted.

snowball

more plays via myspace daily. Emails from strangers wanting to meet us. Showing up on peoples myspace playlist.

Pretty neat.

Good practice

Tonight was cool. We started out shitty. But somewhere in the middle of running the set twice we sort of fell into this zone. Its really hard to describe but its almost as if some other autopilot aspect of your brain takes over and suddenly everything becomes much easier and you relax and start singing and playing better. I was nailing harmonies, little dynamics of my playing were tasteful and solid.

My goal is to take those moments into our shows and bypass nerves and unfamiliar sound equipment to play like that every single time. Its really really hard. It has happened a handful of times since Ive been playing with these guys and I can only assume more shows will mean more experiences like that until they start happening frequently.

anyway weird post but its on my mind. I feel good. Friday will be good.

shhh

i am preparing something risky. 2010 here I come.

today I asked myself...

"What are you excelling at? Are you banging on all cylinders? What greater purpose are you shooting for with your abilities?"

something like that.

Well I had no answer. I'm treading water in a sea of unrealized potential. And I'm not happy about it. I know too many bright, talented people to not be among them with my own accomplishments and triumphs. I am too frequently happy with just enough.

Which way should I go? I see a few a few paths but I want to do them all. That's the express lane to mediocrity.

Jim Rohn - RIP

Speaker/businessman Jim Rohn passed away. A very inspiring man on life, business and achievement.

My favorite quote by him...

"We all must suffer from one of two pains... the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons."

I visited Grandma in the hospital both Saturday and Sunday evening. She is doing as well as can be expected after the surgery. Today I believe she is being transferred to a rehabilitation center down the street where they will begin strengthening her for moving to and from a wheelchair and finally how to walk on a prosthetic. Its going to be a long process Im afraid but if anyone can do it, she can.

The whole family visited and it was good to see them all. She is going to live with my aunt in Dallas for awhile so it looks like we will have Christmas there. I like having Christmas in Dallas and its good to know she is going to be taken care of during this tough period.

Good weekend but Sunday was mostly a waste due to a debilitating wine/beer/whatever hangover. Never again. I actually still feel slightly retarded from it. Hangovers are interesting to me. I believe that must be what it feels like to be very unhealthy. Poisoned. I dont like the feeling. After 24 hours I am still feeling awful.

2 years

This blog is offically two years old. Being that my grandmother is on my mind so much I though I would repost an old blog post about her.

http://meaningfullyabsurd.blogspot.com/2008/01/people-i-am-lucky-to-know-1.html

grandma

somber day. My grandmother is getting her leg amputated just below the knee. My concerns are numerous. I read about older people functioning fine with a prosthetic but there are many variables up in the air right now.

She is suprisingly strong about it and just wants the pain to stop. I just want her to be able to return to a normal life.

Coming up on 2 years of this blog

I don't tell people about this blog so if you are reading this you are in the minority. Its more of a documenting of things for myself really. Something about having a few other people read it also satisfies some weird desire for connectedness that I doubt is experienced by just me.

so if you are one of the handful of people who do, thank you. I probably lost most of you awhile back anyway.

But yeah Dec 3 marks the two year mark. Hurrah!

This blog is lazy

I am posting some lame ass blog posts lately. Shame shame. Lets get a bit more thorough.

Thanksgiving was interesting. We rearranged the whole thing to be with my grandmother in Houston. Her foot is having problems and she is actually at the doctor as I type this. This has been a recurring thing so I hope she gets some answers today.

Jared/Kelly, Michelle and my mother spent Thanksgiving evening over at Kelly's families house. Kinda strange to be with so many practical strangers but everyone was in good spirits. Also strange to see the life of a family so different than yours. It was full of intense family togetherness complete with cutesy inside family jokes, praying in a circle thanking God for being Americans and little kids running around. It was nice but quite foreign to me. A few times I wondered if I would ever have something like this. Or if I would ever want something like this.

The show was okay. I screwed up more than I should have. A lot of people made it out which was nice but we all feel a bit down on ourselves. It was not like the last couple shows where we just crushed it.

Hanging with a new lady. She came to the show also. What I like about her is her lack of pretension even though she is very attractive. Deep down shes a country girl from a small hick town so we share the same enthusiasm for Target and old school Nintendo. When I introduced myself to her awhile back I had no clue if she was going to be rude but I went for it and it went over well. Who knows? Shes a bit flirty but I have not staked any claims and honestly so am I, so I am not really upset about it. There is no question shes a Good Girl and she expresses her desire for something meaningful. Of course I am taking it slow. But shes cool and that's enough for now.

Listening to an online radio station that just relocated to Austin from Cincinnati www.woxy.com. They have played us 3 times so far and its pretty great because they are a very respected presence in the music world.

More stuff...

>> I've been watching a lot of Hulu. Hulu is great.

>> I need more money.

>> The movie Taken was good. Liam Neeson kicks so much ass.

>> My iphone has revolutionized bathroom time for me

>> I am flossing regularly

>> I will soon be taking sign language classes with my friend Michelle.

>> Today I have no emotion. Just here. Feels strange.

6 weeks!

i highly doubt it will go 7

press for the show saturday

austinsound.net


Austinist

5 Weeks on the Radio

Holy crap!

Speaking of crap. I feel like a load of it. Official cold.

the onion is ballsy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nJtd0Ua8sQ

4 weeks on the radio

cant believe Andy Langer has played us every week for the last month. We missed it last night but someone texted me saying he said something nice about us again. I highly doubt it will go beyond 4 weeks but its more than an honor to us.

Old School Nintendo

Man I really want one. I am going to get one. Then I will play mario 3, metroid, etc.

Good shows on the horizon. Next week a super cool venue I have wanted to play awhile called Scoot Inn.

Last show sucked. The guy running our sound was at least 65 years old and had NO CLUE what the hell he was doing. Our sound suffered. Badly.

CD release later this month. We are looking at a write up in the Austinist. Andy Langer had us on his show 3 weeks in a row. We are making friends with cool venues and people with clout.

The weather is nice. I've been hanging with a super cute gal who has expressed interest in partaking in my nintendo cravings.

Finally, I have started having an otis spunkmeyer muffin with my coffee every morning. Holy CRAP these things are something else.

stop dreaming about the house!

I keep dreaming about the house. I am inside or in the yard. I really miss it. I had another dream I went back and looked at the aftermath. It was just a barren hill. Its like memories of a person.

Im so thankful for having experienced all that. Its a safe little comfort to me. i want to have something mean that much to me again someday.

halloween you never fail to disappoint

great weekend. Boat party Friday. Kick ass house party Saturday. We were on the radio Sunday. Um yeah. Good stuff.

Hearing Andy Langer say our band name and EP title was the highlight. That dude has the coolest radio voice ever.

last minute

Halloween. I wasnt going to do anything but screw it lets have some fun.

cool

someone actually made a comment on the last post's link about loving us and glad Andy Langer played our song. That could easily have been one of us faking it but it was totally someone else. The only post on the entry.

Apparently they are airing us again this Sunday evening. I will NOT miss it this time. My friend wrote me and said she heard us. He opened the show with our song and she said that she heard him say some complimentary things about our potential.

Getting on this show has been a small dream of mine for some time.

Our next target goal... SXSW baby. SXMFSW

we were on the radio...

http://www.101x.com/NextBigThing/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10068424

foibles

I know mine. Do you know yours?

frustrating weekend indeed.

new kings of convenience is here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VZLC8YFmj8&feature=fvw

Back Alley Social

We killed it last night. A few screw ups but overall we crushed the hell out of this one.

Yin/Yang

Its weird because these days I feel my life is in equal part shambles and equal part awesome.

We'll just put aside the shambles for today.

We were just contacted by the general manager of do512.com. She said we come highly recommended and offered us a show.

This is cool on different levels. The show itself is going to be massively promoted on do512.com. BUT having the relationship with them is far more valuable to us. In fact its a game changer kind of thing. They have the power to really shine a spotlight on our shows, pulling in reviews and outside exposure we really need. Particularly in November with the "official" CD release.

Its way to early to tell how it will play out but everyone is pretty excited.

this is why i want a dog

amazing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofpYRITtLSg

good weekend

Kevin came down, had a great show, went out and had good times. I know I'm going to regret not documenting it a little more thoroughly but I'm tired.

The Epic Fail of a show

Dallas was a travesty. (okay thats being a bit melodramatic)

My mom came which was cool.

BUT...

The monitor mix was probably the worst we have ever had. I told the guys that this weekend can be summed up with one sentence...

"Bonnaroo sound guys... my balls.."

Here are a few things that made it awful...

1. No Sound check - We were told we are going to play another bands drum set. They didnt show up until it was too late for us to do a proper sound check. The drum set was also a piece of crap. Lesson learned there.

2. Bad weather - It drizzled a lot and finally poured. We were the only band that played before the whole show was canceled. Which didn't matter anyway because...

3. No one was there - We were playing to a HUGE empty field. Maybe 15 people TOPS. This would have sucked in a smaller venue but was just ridiculous in this vast wide open plot of land. Funny actually.

I told the guys we are just taking our knocks. Every show after this will be a better one. Man this show blew.

But we sold some shirts and 3 EPs. That was seriously a HUGE percentage of the people there.

battling swine

i feel a little like crap but I am doing all I can to keep it in check.

flying dreams

I have a recurring dream where I can fly. I just focus for a few seconds and then lift off the ground and fly around doing whatever I want. I have these dreams often. At first I was scared to let people know I could do this so I flew around in secret but lately the dreams involve me open with people about my abilities. (out of the closet flyer??)

They are always very pleasant dreams. Something about the way I have to work a bit to make it happen also feels significant. Lucid dreaming is cool.

more benefits?

We are playing this Saturday at another benefit in Dallas.

http://www.rockthecampus.org/

Apparently its a legit show. The sound is done by the folks who did Bonnaroo. Press will be there and its on a college campus so were hoping to get in front of a decent crowd.

terrible gig

the benefit was a technical disaster. I knew things were going to be bad when Daniel tried to sing into the mic and the janky ass mic stand snapped off into his hands. It was all downhill from there.

but it was for a good cause. Still.

I did get the balls to approach a cute red-head later that night. Im laughing to myself right now because after I got her number I said;

"Yeah maybe we can go to Target sometime and play wiffleball."

If that doesnt win her over shes worthless. ;)

Happy Birthday Jessie Pearl Maker

I love you lots

QC Cong photography

A really nice guy with his family snapped some great pics of us at the Gallery Walk. He is letting us have them for nothing. His family cheered us on. Apparently we are huge in the 8th grade demographic. =)

It was a lot of fun. Next up... the Lukemia and Lymphoma Society benefit tomorrow night at 7:30 PM. That one is going to feel good to play.



more of his stuff can be seen at http://www.xophotography.net/

juicy karaoke secrets...

Went out for karaoke a few nights ago. We met up with group of folks. There was a guy in the group there with his girlfriend. One of those post frat kinda party guys. Fun to talk to, a bit loud and drunk.

It wouldn't have seemed strange at all had I not known this man is beyond gay.

I had met him on some river float trip a couple years ago so that's how I knew. Its strange to me because there is practically no way you would ever guess the dude was gay. It would be one of those things you would say I was completely insane to think it. Especially since he has a girlfriend...

I learned from my friend who knows him well that his family is rich and told him that if he doesn't have a "normal" relationship, he is cut out of the family fortune. So this man has chosen to live a lie for the rest of his life. With a woman he is not sexually attracted to. I felt bad for her because she is clueless. My friend said he comes up with excuses for his lack of libido... drunk...tired whatever. I felt bad for him also. What a terrible way to live your life just to get at a chunk of money. The most extreme way to waste two people's time that I can think of.

Carol Brown

Cant stop listening to this. The chorus of women singing kills me. Its funny and sort of sad at the same time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cGoDns8wTA

more dreams about the house

I had a dream I was looking through old pictures and saw a pic of the backyard. Then the picture sort of morphed into me actually being there. Everything was frozen like in the picture. My old beagle was curled up on the lawn, sleeping in the sun. It was a beautiful day. I could see everything clearly. The plants were all healthy and green. I became very very upset that the image was no longer real and simply the stuff of memories. Strange how something that vivid in my head simply does not exist anymore.

I miss the house. I still have the key on my keychain. Dont think Ill ever take it off.

Sometimes I wonder about the afterlife. I fantasize that in that place you can pretty much conjur up any pleasant reality you want and experience it. This dream would be one of them. Id make the back yard real again and play with my old dog for awhile. I miss her too.

shows and more

things are picking up. Booking agents, new venues etc. Good stuff.

shame...

is an interesting emotion.

cursing

abe brought up a good point. I curse too much. I never realized it but I really do go overboard sometimes. A lot actually. Something to work on.

Thoughts on 31...

Officially in my thirties this month.

Here is what I have been thinking about:

My belief in destiny is changing. As a kid I believed things happened for a reason. I wouldn't say I have completely abandoned the belief but when I think about how simple decisions can completely change the way your life plays out, I start to doubt the concept of some clear-cut destiny for any of us.

Call it weathered idealism but I am starting to feel like "meaning" in the sense I used to know does not exist. I hope I come back around one day and feel differently. Its very disorienting to feel like were just floating around in chaos.

I have a friend who every time we get on the subject of something uncomfortable that has happened to her, she pulls out the "everything happens for a reason" card.

I ask her if she really feels that way. She admits its probably just so she can sleep at night. Shes a smart girl. I just don't know how I feel about fate anymore. Do some things happen for a reason? Why those and not others? I'm no fatalist so decisions about what to have for lunch are probably not even recorded in the universes history but what if that decision leads to something bigger like food poisoning which leads to a day in bed where you come up with an idea for the better mousetrap. Then you get filthy rich and meet your soulmate. =)

So what of fate? Someone tell me its not chaos. I start to worry.

Yet a few experiences in my life give me hope that its not all 100% devoid of meaning. I am grateful for them and glad they happened.

rain... ah

apparently we are in the midst of a drought not seen since the 50s. The rain is welcomed. I just realized it has been a LONG time since it rained here.

We were contacted by a company that books shows in the warehouse district.

Apparently we were spoken highly of by another band we have played with in the past so that feels good to get a word of mouth recommendation that furthers our exposure. Our new stuff is good. The fun aspect of the band has worn off a bit in the sense that it doesnt feel super new and exciting but Im actually okay with that. I want to settle into a more workman like mode and crank out solid material.

That means egos will be bruised. Mine as well. Fuck it its gotta happen.

random thought

what if you were in a situation where there were no way to know what day it was? That would feel strange. Its like I need to know if its Thursday for some reason. Of course in this hypothetical example jobs are removed.

I remember when my Grandmother was taking care of her cousin, an old woman, who just laid in bed for months on end... in and out of sanity and consciousness. I dont know how long she was in that state before passing away. Im guessing many months, maybe about a year.

One day she opened her eyes, looked over at my grandmother and told her that today is such and such a date and year.

And she nailed it. Quite odd.

weird

todays post mentioned loreece. Its her birthday today. I was watching the film just as it turned Sept 8th.

cool.

Bukowski: Born Into This

Great documentary about him.

Loreece first introduced me to him with the book Love is a Dog From Hell.

He could offend me and then on the next page make me cry.

Here is a poem from the film. He reads it outloud

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art

kick in the chest

we sort of floundered around entering a contest to play ACL and didnt get our shit together in time.

Now a band that we have played with, and feel on par with, is in the running to play ACL.

I feel sick. really.

i still feel very weird

not sure what it is. Sometimes I feel completely in control of things and other times I feel like life is sort of blowing around me like a giant pile of swirling leaves and Im just kinda frozen staring into it.

but nothing has changed drastically so I'm trying to piece together exactly what is causing these weird emotions.

Why I fucking love jazz

currently listening to Miles Davis' album Round About Midnight.

Here is why I love Jazz...

The date on this recording is 1955.

This thing...this vibe... was created 54 years ago and is STILL relevant to this day. Its like they recorded this song yesterday. Its still hold-your-head-in-your-hands cool. It reminds me that this whole humanity thing was just as relevant in the 50s as it is today. All the media I am familiar with around this time period crumbles into smokey quiet dust while this album plays.

I can picture myself in whatever venue this was recorded in... feeling the exact same way about my situation. And okay with it for now.

Were talking about nothing short of time traveling. Jazz has never been this good or evolved beyond this sexy walking bassline. Its frozen. This is it. This is Jazz as good as it will ever become and many people who enjoyed it while it was being created are no longer breathing. Yet I feel the music like its happening right now.

I fucking love miles davis and think Jazz is a perfect reminder that feeling this way will never ever grow old. It will be here when I am long gone too. Birth of the Cool indeed.

kooky

i met a legitimate sex addict tonight. it ruined her marriage. She blogs about it in graphic detail. You would never guess by looking at her the lifestyle she lives. I heard stories that just dropped my jaw.

not sure why I had to post about it. But something about secret addictions is so postable...

I want to ask her a million questions.

big show in dallas

fun times ahead in D-town. Details shortly.

Alf revisited

a while back I posted a thing about the old TV show Alf.

wikipedia explains how the cast hated each other and how it took something like 20 hours to film an episode. The main dude who played Willy mentioned that he despised acting alongside a puppet who got all the best lines.

Something about tension on the set of ALF is hilarious to me. Wiki it and check out how much everyone hated working on the show.

Awesome.

awesome interview

Tony Robbins (huge influence on me) has interviewed two of my biggest marketing influences. For me its like an interview match made in heaven.

They wanted to answer the question why some people become successful with their info-products and why some never even open the damn thing. So they met up with Tony to talk about what drives people to take action in life. I love this interview and it can be applied to anything not just making money. I hope you like it too.


http://tonyrobbinstraining.com/320/interview-with-frank-kern-and-john-reese/

great show

lots of folks came out. The sound was good. I felt good about myself. We made money. But this staying up late two nights in a row does a number on me.

No more cigarettes seriously.

checked out a really cool wine bar Monday. I stumbled onto the open mic they host every Monday and got to play a couple songs. It had been so long since I played one of them I forgot one of the chords and sort of stumbled through it every time I came to it. Funny because I have played that song MANY times.

But it felt really good to play quiet stuff again. We are normally just so loud and energetic there is something I miss about playing intensely quiet and revealing songs. I had a few great reactions and it made me want to start incorporating more of that into the band.

But I can feel attention wane when I try to do these things. This upsets me somewhat in that what I know to be well-written songs (slightly biased opinion of course) have instrumental parts that arent necessarily mind blowing which possibly bores the guys and I end up nixing it. Sucks. I guess maybe that's what solo projects are for.

Friday

Looking forward to it. We stand to make some good money. Jacob the owner of the club is paying us well and giving us a percentage.

Its $5 at the door and $10 at the door with a CD. Apparently some folks are excited. I have no clue what to expect.

displaced

done. rented a uhaul...loaded everything up and then unloaded it again. With boxes strewn about and my new room a wreck, I begin to sort through my shit and settle in. I've spent a large part of this weekend sweating profusely.

I realized 30-40% of what I own can be thrown away. This leaves me with even fewer things that I can call my own. I trashed a lot but still much more to toss out. My problem is I save everything and have no clue why.

I feel displaced and 100% uprooted. I realize so much of sanity is simply familiarity. But everything has been turned upside down. I have a roommate for the first time in nearly a decade, less space than I'm used to (and even less than I expected... should have measured the room better) and a lot of dangling todo's just sitting on my shoulders. Big, annoying, todos that I was never very good at getting around to but will have to very soon.

I actually hadn't put much thought into all the ramifications of this decision but they are certainly becoming clear now. I don't regret it yet but saving money will come with a price. This is just the kind of change I need to motivate me to start working towards something more for myself.

I cleaned the old apartment nicely and will do a walk through with the management tomorrow morning. I went to bed at 9:30 last night and will probably do it again tonight.

But man I feel really really weird.

moving

I have until the 16th to move out of the apartment. I just don't want to spend 800 per month plus utilities when I could have a mortgage for that kind of cash.

Abe is going to cut me a serious break in rent so I will have a shit-ton of money to do whatever I want with. I have to be diligent and pay down some debt, pour it back into my little side project and maybe buy some new gear for the band.

In a way I feel its a step back because the room is freaking small and its not in the greatest neighborhood but in another way I think its a smart move for me. I need to get the balls to approach my boss for a raise. Seriously.

But I dont think this will be more than a 6 month thing for me before I decide I need to get a place of my own again. Its been since 2002 since I lived with someone. Abe is super laid back so I don't forsee any real problems but I have to be careful about not pissing the dude off somehow.

But man moving is probably the most un-fun thing I can think of next to vomiting.

Chi Town

Wow I do love Chicago. Everything is huge there. The buildings, the city blocks, the pizza and burgers.

The people are friendly (i met several strangers and had great conversations with them)

Lolla was good. I never walked so much in my life (hotel to show and back each day). I wanted to go out each night but I literally could barely walk and I had ZERO energy. We managed to hit a couple pubs but I did not have the strength to throw down like I wanted to. The sun and standing just works a number on my old ass.

Phone died. Got a new one. Iphone for $100. These pics were actually taken with said phone. This trip has officially broken me financially. =)

Dug the El.

Dug the women. Hot.

Gotta go back.

But now that Im back I realize everything I left just patiently waited for me. I have to be out of this apartment by Sunday. I have to catch up at work. So many band loose ends to deal with. At least Im not bored.

wed like to thank...

Our CD release is going to be sponsored by a trendy Vodka company, complete with a big banner welcoming us.

??

Loreece Lynn Pentecost

Loreece Lynn Pentecost, 23, of Old River Winfree, passed away on Sunday, May 25, 2003.

She was born in Baytown on September 8, 1979. After attending Barbers Hill Schools through the 10th grade she graduated with honors from Channelview High School. Upon graduation she received several academic and art scholarships. She attended San Jacinto College North campus and the University of Houston at Clear Lake where she earned a Bachelors of Arts degree in Visual Art and Applied Design and graduated Cum Laude in December of 2002. She was a member of the Alpha Chi National College Honor Scholarship Society. She was an artist and painting and drawing were her passions. She had been battling Lupus for the last five years and used her art to express her experiences with the disease.

This is how I met her

----------

Since I posted this, a Google search for her name brings this entry up first. I find that pretty awesome. She was an amazing person and I am thankful that I had the chance to know her for those few years. Obviously she was important to you too.

dream about Loreece

I had a dream about Loreece. It was very pleasant and sad at the same time. She and I were playing with children and someone was recording us on a video camera. In this dream I was watching this video just amazed at how incredible of a person she was. At first it was her hopping around pretending to have a hard time putting on a pair of pants. Then I noticed I was in the video too bouncing around. Just silly stuff. She was so beautiful and playful, it was heartbreaking. The video was apparently when we were together and I woke up very sad yet happy to have had the dream.

Her birthday is coming up. She would have been 29.

I had no clue what I had when I was 19. She was like a wispy angel

Girls are weird

I wish I were gay.

=P

Awkward show

So the Paramount thing was just weird.

First off we played 5 songs so the time just disappeared.

Secondly it felt as if we were playing in someones house who did not want us to be there. Little kids covered their ears. Most people just walked by. Pretty funny. A decent amount of our friends showed up so that was cool.

The best was the guy who takes the tickets for people coming to see the movie. He looked to be like 167 years old and had the unfortunate position of being right beside us as we played. Simply put the dude hated our guts. He crammed giant wads of something in his ears and told everyone he could about our infernal racket. Or some other old man phrase representing his disdain.

The problem was we were supposed to play in a different part of the theatre but the high falootin donors decided to throw a party at the last minute and when you donate tens of thousands of dollars to your cause, you let them do whatever the hell they want. So we got relocated downstairs. The whole band felt awkward. No one really got into it.

The plus side is two people bought our EP. A quick $14. Um. Yeah.

Next week will be interesting. We play a place called Shakespeare's which is in a douchebaggy section of Austin but we have huge kick ass speakers we are bringing so we're going to rock the fuck out of those college frat boys and homogeneous sorority chicks.

And by that I mean play Nickleback covers. And start a bar fight. And buy a boat. And call each other brah as in "Hey Brah pass the bong". Or maybe "chief."

Kidding it'll be great.

scheme for votes

so we bought a bunch of cheap beer with some of the band fund and went to Michael's old Co-Op where he used to live. Its like an ewok village for college kids where they take turns cooking and cleaning for each other.

We printed out simple instructions for how to vote and told anyone within earshot that if they voted for us we would give them a beer. It worked pretty well. We are now in 4th place and plan on going back to the Co-op tonight to post up at a giant party with laptops with wireless connections.

Well see how it goes.

But talk about an interesting experience. This little living situation is like a hedonistic tree house. One dude was walking around completely naked. I was surprised at my lack of being able to carry on a conversation with a dude with his schlong in plain sight. He appeared later with some sort of tool belt thing with pockets. I guess carrying around important things would be difficult naked.

Another guy was wheeling around a wooden arcade frame he was working on, which I found pretty cool. Its a wild little place. The bulk of the people we ran into were on something from either mushrooms or acid. But Nice kids. Smelly nice kids.

We know we cant win this competition but we want to blow past the fucker that keeps stealing 4th from us. So thats our goal. We already have made connection with the winner (most likely the winner) and they are open to playing a show with us so despite us not winning this thing we still are getting something out of it... Connections baby.

Dow at 9000...

is like getting excited that the Titanic has life vests.

reciprocity

there is nothing better than making out with someone who really seems to be enjoying it.

random stuff

- Kind of Blue is just great.

- Ive been hanging out with an out-of-work lawyer. The dude is hilarious and you would NEVER guess he was a lawyer. Poor guy is working at a coffee shop until things pick up. But hes always down with going out and he is not married which appears to be a trend among people my age. =)

- I still keep thinking (and writing) about her

- 2 shows in 2 weeks

- time to throw away the sandals I have now. They smell weird

- I'm pretty happy for no particular reason

- Looking forward to Chicago and all the debauchery that is bound to ensue

- Keep voting for us dammit!!! http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/SoundWars/

currently listening to....

an album i never got around to fully sitting down with.

yes... Im ready for your jibes.. Justin Timberlake's Future Sex/Love Sounds.

Here is a guy I used to love making fun of. No longer. His SNL appearances are classic and this album is Prince quality Pop music. At least 5 of the tracks are fantastic.

Serious props to Timbaland. Not sure who was exactly responsible for the actual music but its anything but lame pop radio formulaic poo ala NSync, or whatever corporate created boy band is topping the charts these days.

I have been inspired to sit down and create the ultimate dance mix. Stay tuned...

I know I'm behind on this album but I put it aside for more pretentious music. But yeah it kicks ass and I don't give a damn who knows. I cant NOT dance to it.

Chicago...

here we come. Lollapalooza and the windy city. I have experienced neither but will get my chance august 6-10. Tickets are in my hand and the flight is booked. I'm stoked.

Coincidentally, Alex (drummer) and his wife are going also. Should be a blast.

The new practice space sounds incredible. Professional soundproofing does wonders. We can technically record an album in that room now according to the technician who installed the panels.

We have a new song that Daniel brought to the table that is just killer. I brought in a song that i recorded ages ago that should sound cool also. I wish we had some of this already recorded. Soon though.

FINAL ROUND

this is it. We need votes. Final 10 bands and only one will win.

http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/SoundWars/

flying cue balls

this is the third time in 2 weeks I have witnessed fools trying to hurt each other while I was out trying to enjoy myself.

Last night this dude cracked this guy over the shoulder with a pool cue and someone THREW A CUE BALL very hard against a wall. It sounded like a gunshot. I was actually pretty close to where the action went down but got up to go grab a beer.

Police arrived, the drunken asshole who got nailed with the pool cue just laid on the floor moaning. I heard him talking trash to the guy who hit him moments before. Lesson learned. Alcohol and machismo do not mix.

I like dives and all but this kind of shit is unacceptable. this isn't Faluja. This is peaceful austin texas. I just want to drink beer and hit on women, not dodge projectiles and talk meatheads out of being idiots.

Sound Wars

So we are currently in 6th place in the Chronicle's sound wars. We have to stay in the top 10 or we dont move on to round 4. I am confident we will do it.

But a cool thing (and exactly why we joined this competition) is that someone contacted us about an indie film they are a part of and wanted us to send some of our music to the director.

I know very little at this point but it now becomes a licensing issue and we need to register with ASCAP to receive royalties and do all that fun stuff to secure our publishing. The greatest thing is WE own our publishing. WE own the masters. WE control our future in this regard.

20 years ago this kind of thing would be unheard of without a record label.

keep it on the dl

I know a girl who has a boyfriend.

She is hands down the pinnacle of women I have met in my life. Classy, sexy, smart, fun. I just feel good when I am around her. I would give up my single life for a woman of that calibre in a nanosecond.

But the situation is just not possible with her. She is in love. and I understand.

However when we hang out for brief moments among friends, she and I have a connection. I feel it and I know she feels it. I catch brief glances and I know. I recently told her, in a very respectable way, my opinion of her.

It was a great moment to look her in the eyes and say it, to see her whole body smile back at me, and Im so glad she knows, regardless of the situation.

Johns wedding...

it was actually a great wedding. The first 100% secular wedding I have ever seen so it was interesting to see how they made it about trust, love, wisdom, growth and not about religious purity or bonds made by God etc.

John's cousin is a porn star. She was there with her terrible terrible fake tan. Our table was abuzz about it. I googled her. Yup. She has sex on film all right.

I also have the coolest photo snapped of me in the middle of jumping through my leg. It was taken purely by accident and couldnt have been more perfect timing. (FYI: I rolled my pants up because it was hot as balls)

pics from tuesday

good feeling

so some guy just posted a personal update on his myspace about our show Tuesday night. If that is the most un-obligatory cool thing then I dont know what is.

total stranger.... check
saying something I am certain is sincere... check

nice. We will do this... one... person... at a time

really? better?

Show went well last night. The people who were there for the san antonio show and the austin show said that this show was better. Which is weird because though I did feel good about this show I didn't necessarily think this one was better.

Technically we screwed up a little more but I think our energy and enthusiasm and the crowds feeding off that is what elevated it. Stuff completely unrelated to our actual musical chops. Had a blast. Some super cool pics are on the way.

ariel view

I keep thinking about beautiful days at the old house in channelview. Despite the crap around us a breezy spring day with the sun shining was quite an impressive thing in that yard. I keep going to the following website and looking at an amazing birds eye 360 degree view of the house. They obviously havent taken updated satellite photos and this is as close to those memories I will ever get... (just close the window of the earth and then click "birds eye view" and check it out at any angle. You can also zoom in a little further.

http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?q=&mkt=en-US&FORM=BYFD#JnE9eXAuMjE3K0xha2VzaWRlK0RyaXZlK0NoYW5uZWx2aWV3K1RYJTdlc3N0LjAlN2VwZy4xJmJiPTQ4LjIyNDY3MjY0OTU2NTIlN2UtNTUuNDU4OTg0Mzc1JTdlOC40MDcxNjgxNjM2MDEwNyU3ZS0xNDIuMjk0OTIxODc1

mohawk tonight

so tonight we play a very cool austin venue. No clue how many people will be there. We are the last band to play but not technically the headliners which is kind of weird.

Its just a matter of it being Tuesday that the headliner would rather play earlier I suppose. But we are happy for the opportunity and I am going to try to bring my A game again and give it everything I have.

I had a pleasant dream where I had a hoverboard and I was cruising around the campus of a beautiful college enjoying the sun and talking with people. I would like to have the dream again if possible.

random.

Jesus...

some drunk guy clocked my friend in the face tonight. It all happened so fast I didnt know what to do but this sucks. I told him he just broke the law and he needs to get the fuck out but in retrospect I should have somehow figured out who he was and got the law involved.

i feel like I dropped the ball as a friend. But fighting the guy would have simply made things worse. Terrible night. Fuck drunk douchebags.

San Antonio and our A Game

Last night was exactly the progress I want us to move towards as a band.

We controlled our tempos, I settled into a decent vocal performance, we actually interacted with the audience, Daniel set his snare actually IN the audience to jump into the crowd and proceed to double drum the last song into oblivion. Showmanship, solid performances and the audiences faces were thoroughly melted. One dude who had never seen us described it to me as simply "art". That felt good. I felt good. And who knows it might have looked exactly like previous performances but my own personal psychology was much more affected this time around. Not sure exactly what it was.

I am fully confident in us as a live entity in our ideal state. (consistency will now be the key word).

Bring on the Mohawk. Fingers crossed we can bring this same thing Tuesday night.

3 shows this month

4th of July bash in San Antonio (Paid show), July 7th show at The Mohawk (a coveted venue we have been shooting for) and finally the Paramount Theatre the 25th for the showing of Indiana Jones (the first one) along with our names in an email going out to tens of thousands of people.

We should get the physical CDs to our doorstep next Wednesday-ish. Then what? I have no clue. I assume we will hit up folks for reviews and write ups. There is a big grey unknown coming for us and Im curious to see how it turns out. How long will our 15 minutes last if we even get that long?

I know this. Our live show needs work. We don't practice near enough. But we have some new material in the works that is pretty great so I look forward to getting that fleshed out and replacing our weaker songs with the better ones. Keep pushing towards awesomeness.

As usual I am happy but discontent. Are my (& our) flaws too much or can I hide them well enough to make a mark? Do what you do best and keep your weaknesses out of the spotlight, right? I fear critics and strangers opinions. I hear a good comment and ride on it for days. Silence gets me questioning our validity. I'm an insecure boyfriend looking for constant validation. One day I think we rock and the next I think we will never rise above "meh" status.

Woody Allen believed most of success was simply showing up. Wouldn't that be nice. All I need is a vehicle and I will see success. right. great.

in the Top 5

We are in the top 5!!! Keep the votes coming.

http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/SoundWars/

surreal babies

A girl I dated superficially for something like 2 years is now married with a child in under less than a year. The pics are mind blowing to me. She looks different. She has a child. She does not respond to my congratulatory emails.

She was silly. She was sweet. She had the attention span of a guppie. I will probably never speak to her again. I wish her the best.

vote for us (were in the top 10 for today)

http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/SoundWars/

I know the bulk of you have already done so. So Mom... Get to it!

jeeze people stop dying already

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529328,00.html

from wikipedia...

"The period saw the singer become deeply unhappy; Jackson explained, 'Even at home, I'm lonely. I sit in my room sometimes and cry. It's so hard to make friends ... I sometimes walk around the neighborhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home.'"

the guy never had a chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W70Y_CHnJhQ&NR=1

michael jackson

guess I should weigh in...

it strikes me as strange that the only time you will truly be celebrated in a BIG way is when you die. There will never be more appreciation, respect for your contributions, and just plain outpouring of emotion. I know that's kind of a "well duh" kind of statement but just watching all this media (every radio station, every channel) it just seems ironic that the guy was essentially considered a washed up weirdo just a few days ago.

It reminds me that this kind of attention has little to do with him and more to do with the experiences of other people. So we are basically celebrating our memories and experiences and this man happens to be the catalyst this time around.

But at least I get to see what absolute media dominance looks like. Wow.

Bruno

more than excited to see Bruno. I like the fact that Cohen brings out people's awful awful humanity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pak5ALMdkbE&feature=related

my friend returns (and crazy serendipity ensues)

so Michelle has returned from her sojurn to Virginia with her boyfriend. They are now broken up (surprise!) and she is back for good. (its been about 7 months)

We went to a little local bar last night and met abe for a reunion beer. As we were chatting I mentioned about how the band is soundproofing Alex's room and we are trying to figure out the best way to go about this...

out of nowhere a dude chimes in "You looking for soundproofing? I have a shitload of very high end soundproofing gear I can sell you for pennies on the dollar"

Im interested stranger. Go on.

He turned out to be the CEO of Rozone productions and as he was talking to me about soundproofing he took out two tickets to the Blondie/Pat Benetar/The Donnas show in August and handed them to me. His company is hosting the show. He then starts asking about my band and I tell him we just released our ep. He said "Well I am the guy to talk to about that" and asked I send one his way when we get them. Apparently hes worked with Ghostland Observatory and other bands so this could be a cool opportunity.

If anything we can get some cheap ass soundproofing done which is all I can hope for. Anything else loftier I will just wait and see what happens. I know promises are a dime a dozen in this industry...

Also something worth mentioning. Michelle stayed on my couch last night and in the middle of the night slept-walked outside and laid down in the grass. The sprinklers turned on and she got soaked. Hilarious.

jumping the gun as usual but...

daniel works at the historical paramount theatre. We are going to get to play in the lobby for a summmer event where they show classic movies like Jaws, ET and others.

It will be a short set but the coolest part is that our link to our music will be going out to literally over 100,000 people. This is HUGE. Game changer kind of HUGE. We gotta get things in order before that email drops.

movie weekend

i am the worst moviegoer but this weekend I worked overtime. I saw Star Trek (really good), 300 (good i guess) and The Hangover (a little better than okay).

John's fiancee had her bachelorette party. She came home around 1 and called John. He left the bar to go be with her.

We are stealing his phone for next Friday and getting him a lap dance. The dude is joined at the hip with her but it all changes next week. (Maniacal laughter and tented fingertips)

Something really interesting about those two is that they are both atheists. They are also super great people. My Christian school programming from kindergarten through 2nd grade is still with me at times but I honestly have come to the conclusion that subscribing to any kind of dogma or religious belief says absolutely nothing about your worth as a moral, kind individual. I know atheists and christians that I would trust equally with my secrets, my friendship and my phone calls from a broken down car on the side of the road.

If someone asked what my belief was I would probably just say "confused".

ANYWAY...Watching the play count on our myspace page is like crack. I have to not do it much or else it corrupts the numbers. But Friday was like 300 plays so that was pretty cool. Were getting nice emails from folks and look forward to begin whoring ourselves out for reviews and shows. =P

ahhh

so its finally done. The ep is up on myspace.

http://www.myspace.com/legsagainstarms

too bad im sick of hearing it.

I keep one eye open like CBS...

I am totally and unabashedly rocking Jay-Z's 1996 album Reasonable Doubt. The dude can flow like a mofo. His shit's cool like December.

update on that priest guy

I am very happy for this dude. I thought a couple months was a dry spell. Jeeze

http://www.justnews.com/news/19769148/detail.html

when?

i have a feeling that if I look forward to a day when I am 100% satisfied and content, then I am going to be waiting for a very long time.

challenged

Okay so we are going through some pretty big changes. Daniel is moving out of the house that we play in so we have to find another place to practice. I was considering moving in with my friend Abe to help him and I save some money for a few months once my lease is up so it looks like we might have to convince him to let us play in his garage also. He seems down but says once we start making noise he will see how he feels.

Secondly freaking Mike got a DWI last night. The kid was incoherent. Busted in front of his parents house. Parents got to come out and talk to him as he was taken away. We are concerned because he is going to lose his license most likely and maybe not be allowed in places that serve alcohol.

All of this conveniently when the EP is released.

album art

we spent last night going back and forth between album art ideas. Finally its settled and we should have the thing this week. This is the only thing remaining for the EP release.

We are also going to enter a contest next month where voting will be required. I expect the 2 of you that read this to help me out. =)

busy ass weekend

2 shows this weekend.

1st show: Austin

We played well. Travis was there. He admitted our new drummer was better than him. Daniel still didn't talk to him. We sold a few shirts. 5 Things Austin mentioned wanting us to be like a house band for them when they have their events. Might be cool.

Ended up staying up till 5 or so with Mary and Holly. Kicked out of the apartment at 8:00 so Holly's cousin wouldn't come home to a half naked dude she didnt know. I was not happy to get up and drive home. Got home and slept until 2:30. Woke up hungover. I was concerned about my ability to play again. 6:30 Daniel showed up. We began the drive to San Antonio.

2nd Show: San Antonio

Middle slot for 3 bands. We did well but not as well as the night before. We lost some steam energetically. I fucked up one part very badly. I just stopped playing and sung acapella. Still better than the first time we played San Antonio.

We are blown away by the kindness of the people in San Antonio to us. Their compliments afterwards are surreal. We saw a guy there with our shirt on from the last show. Our first actual "fan" if you will. He said he has never bought a shirt from a band before. Nice guy. We took a picture with him. Standing outside afterwards we were just chatting and we ran into another guy. He started talking about what he does. Turns out hes a filmmaker and just made a film with Val Kilmer. I almost called bullshit on the guy but something about him made be beleive it. He talked about his other films and gave me his card.

The cool thing about him was he gave us some honest opinions. He said we reminded him of himself in his early career when he was scraping together a few thousand dollars to make films and just getting started. He said that even though there were a couple rough parts with us he recognized us as having real talent. We told him about the EP and he said that we should drop him a line when its done. Then kind of an offhanded, no promises thing about finding a place for it in a film. Im not even going to say anything about that. We'll just leave it at that.

When 2 rolled around the owner kicked everyone out but us, the staff and a few hot girls. He then attached his ipod to the sound system and we preceded to dance our asses off and drink for free until the sun came up. My band got the most shitfaced plastered I have ever seen them. Daniel could barely stand up and ended up sleeping in his car for awhile. Alex made any excuse to dance on top of things... chairs, the bar and finally a giant speaker that he actually fell off of. I didnt see it but heard about it. I was the sober one by the end of the night and thats not saying much. We ended up sleeping on the floor of Alex's parents. As fun as it was, I realized my body simply cannot sustain prolonged versions of this weekend. But it was a great weekend and I hope we got our names out there a little more.

I have a new perception of San Antonio. The people in particular. We are very fortunate to have this kind of support so close to Austin. Sold a shitload of shirts. After the weekend was said and done we pulled in about 400 for the band account. Not bad. The CD release party is in the works there as well as Austin and I cant wait to get it going. All we need is to get the album art finished and we will be good to go.

insatiable

i dont care if I just spent the weekend jam packed with activities and smiling faces, The second I am home alone in this silence of my apartment I get so damn lonely. Its very very silly when I think about it. And sometimes I beat myself up for being such a pussy but after hearing conversations of other people, I don't think I am the only one experiencing this phenomenon.

The fact is I spend the bulk of my time alone. I work with one other employee and we pretty much keep to ourselves all day. I come home alone. I eat alone. I write and work on my side business alone.

And I know some people who think I have some amazing social life. For me everything is feast or famine. I'm either running around like a madman (women, friends, shows) or I am utterly alone and reclusive. Its a strange ebb and flow. The only thing static is me. And maybe that's not so static either.

I think I could use a good woman. I think she could use a good me. But I just dont want to trudge through pleasantries anymore. I used to be excellent at it. In fact my ability to connect with people is one of my favorite attributes of myself. But social environments are growing more and more laborious as I get older. There is an element of bullshit I just dont know if I want to be good at anymore. I long for relationships and friendships that feel important. That make songs better and make me smile with their warm simplicity.

effing credit cards

i had a card I hadnt touched in a year... careful not to add anything to it.

GoDaddy charged me for one of my domains and silently started wracking up late payments on me. My address was incorrect so i never actually received a bill. The charge is now $178 and its been turned over to a collection agency. I should have cancelled the damn card. I paid the thing off and they told me it has not been reported to a 2nd tier collection agency (which affects my credit) so thats a plus. Still 178 for a domain name is like 1995 prices. screw that.

Bill Murray

I freaking love Bill Murray.

I bought Groundhog Day last night for 10 bucks at Randalls. That movie is just awesome to me. For some reason it really inspires me. (cue the rolling eyes)

Looking forward to the new terminator movie actually. I hope they leave the scene in where Christian Bale goes Berserk on a stagehand and curses him incessantly for getting in the shot. That would be worth the 8-10 bucks to see him doing that.

In true seinfeld fashion...

i went on a date last night with a woman I met awhile back. When I saved her number into my phone I saved it as her job rather than her name so I completely forgot her name.

I spent the entire date avoiding any scenario where I would have to say or know her name. It got very dicey at one point when she asked for my last name. I just knew I would be uncovered but I averted danger like a stealthy ninja.

The date ended in PG13 friskiness. This morning I found her name through the wonderful Google monster so i feel better about the whole thing.

Its funny but I am not sure she knows mine either.

more san antonio

looks like we have been asked back to play a more high profile show. Sweet.

better money, more people and opening for some act that has a decent following in san antonio.

we have 3 shows in the next couple weeks. one next saturday. and then the 5th and 6th of June.

feels good to back in it again.

show recap

weird weird show man.

First off in true me fashion I thought I sucked. Nothing new there.

But it was def rough in some points, the new drummer screwed up a few times. I wore a shirt that started to smell very very bad as my body chemistry began reacting to it. Im at the piano for a song and daniel walks up and quietly says "you smell"

hilarious.

So we do our thing and get off stage and obviously the world we were in and what the audience saw were two different things. Nothing but abnormally nice and positive responses. Our t-shirts flew off the shelves. Partly because they look incredible and we are selling them for 5 bucks each.

We were blown away that our merch was so hot. Dudes that I wouldnt expect in a million years to wear a shirt with a bird on it were buying two.

The headlining band was nothing but nice to us. The owner wants us to have our CD release party there. Its nice to have another big city nearby with MUCH less competition that we can play.

But I felt a bit foreign up there. In my own head. Its been awhile. Its not like riding a bike. its like speedreading. Use it or lose it. Glad it was in another city entirely. Jeeze Im such a cynic.

I am rooting for this man

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/05/11/florida.priest.affair/index.html

laughable but way cool

so i was out with some people last night. One of the girls in the group said she heard that we were one of the top 5 bands in Austin. I hugged the hell out of her.

Its not even remotely true but I can handle rumors like that. If even a smidgen of that kind of zeal can be attributed to us then we are doing something right. But all I can focus on is the long road ahead of us and I wonder how far we are all going to be willing to take it.

Daniel is considering his masters, Michael is a sophmore and alex is married. So far none of these things are coming in the way but who knows. Were all very into this project and our new material is promising. But I see a few cracks here and there that will one day inevitably reveal themselves.

But screw it its only rock and roll. Im going to tell my inner critic to shut up.

emotions

I was in a pretty terrible mood yesterday.

Rough day at work yada yada but I started thinking about emotions.

Bill Hicks said that life is just ride. He then repeated it. "Just a ride."

to paraphrase... Some people make their bank accounts mean a lot some people dont. Some people just generally take the ride more seriously than others.

His words at one time didn't really mean much to me. Just a ride. But that's exactly what it is. Just a series of emotion after emotion until you pass away. What happens to you externally has no bearing on your life. Its how you experience and react to those external stimuli that matters.

I like Bill Hicks. He wasn't a roll on the floor laughing kind of comedian but he was pretty damn awesome. Poor guy didn't deserve to go. (pancreatic cancer?) I really want to see what he has to say about the world today.

for real this time

ok so we are 100% done with the album as much as we can have a say in it.

We spent the final 3 hours tweaking our last song. Its done. No mas. We are finished. Off to mastering. Album artwork, pressed shrink-wrapped Cds, and 2 shows this month.

lets do this thing.

sparse

im lazy. I should be documenting things that will be forgotten in just a few months. But I'm not. I found a field of what looks to be over 100 pink plastic flamingos and I want to get some pics of us up in it. If done right it would be very very cool.

Show May 14 in San Antonio. Im kinda meh about it but you never know. Apparently this opening band has a draw there and Alex is trying to get every last soul he knows in SA to show up.

Either way it will be like a tiny little tour. One show. One city.

argh

the final final mix I am listening to has some faint buzzing throughout the tracks.

A couple parts of one of our better songs has things we want to change. We are terrified of pissing off the guy who mixed us but i dont know if we are going to be able to let this slide. We might just have to take out some money and shove it in his hands and say... we insist.

show booked

our first real show since the ep.

Alex showed our ep to his club owner friend in San Antonio and the guy loved it and asked us to be the opener for a nationally touring act called Language Room.

A well recorded product is worth its weight in gold. Its early and I havent heard from the guys but this is my outlet for when I get excited sooo...

long night

i took two mucinex and experienced the longest most miserably awake night. Tossing and turning until I finally fell asleep around 630. Not sure it was the mucinex but it was awful.

What is it about late nights that feels so lonely and hopeless. My head races with things.

W T F

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/27/low.flying.plane/index.html

who is the bonehead responsible for this?? CoughCoughResignCough

dont get to the movies much

i am the worlds worst moviegoer. I am the guy that has not seen the movie that you think everyone has seen. Yet I also really enjoy great films from everything to cinematography, good acting, editing and just the whole medium itself.

so holy shit Into The Wild just gave me the best couple hours I have had in a long time. What a film. Its up there for me.

Sometimes good films are best seen at a particular time in your life. This is one of those for me. I had been throwing around some ideas and this turned a spotlight on some really important things on my mind.

Its one of those films that just sits on your chest when its done and affects other thoughts that come up later. The acting felt so natural and the ending (even though I knew of it) still kicked me in the throat. check it out if you haven't.

7 hours later...

well it wasnt a quick mixing session thats for sure. But damn the mixes are good. Travis texted all of us at the same time... he has access to the website where our mixes are located. This bothers me. But they wont be up for much longer. Here is his text:

"Hey man... Those mixes just took my breath away... Again and again. Jesus fucking christ i cant believe what im hearing."

we hope other folks share his sentiment.

final mixes tonight

were all listening critically and making sure we get this right. Tonight we make our final revisions so gotta make this count.

mixes

beyond my expectations....and theyre not even mastered yet.

holy shit...Pet Shop Boys

just rocked my face off....

see what I mean

laa 2.0

yesterdays practice was great. We are coming into our sound and writing some damn good stuff. The EP is beyond our expectations but I really wish some of this new stuff was fleshed out and recorded to go with it. We pretty much have an album's worth of material at this point and I cant wait to get more recorded.

vandalism

I had a dream I pushed over the leaning tower of pisa.

I was with Jared and I was freaking out that I had done such a stupid act of vandalism The dream was loaded with dread about the coming punishment I was sure to face from the Italian government. I was trying to wipe off fingerprints, planning my life on the run.

I woke up thankful it was all a dream.

Of course I dont know why the fact that the tower was like a weak telephone pole didnt seem odd to me.

album title

come on lets disappear

I had "dont disappear" in my head for days. I told Daniel and he came up with c'mon lets disappear. I said c'mon is too 80s rock for me. Come on looks better.

There you have it.

What went from a depressing catcher and rye-esque line ("ali dont let me disappear") to something that now has hope, a little fun and is going to give our graphic guy lots of room to play. I told him i had images of ice melting strangely. I meant Strangely I had images of ice melting. He said... hmm ice melting strangely... and ran off to his cave to work on that imagry.

we'll see how it goes.

we as creative human beings are truly greater than the sum of our parts. I get sappy when I think about it.

75

so lets say I am fortunate enough to live to the age of 75.

half of that is 37 years old.

This whole mid-life crisis, freaking out at 50 thing is bogus.

Mid life is more like mid 30s.

I am reaching the middle of my life in the next few years. I can only imagine the speed at which the other half is going to come.

I need to start saving for the porsche and crates of viagra now.

coming together

the drummer is working out nicely. We should be ready to actually play a show in about a month.

We have a new song we are going to open with that is just killer. This thing rocks the ever living shit out of me. I know it will do the same for everyone else.

History

so funny to me how history repeats itself. Its such a cliche that the phrase has lost its power.

but here we are in the greatest and most powerful country ever and facing all these huge problems. WIth all of our technology and improvements we are still repeating the same things over and over.

I'm just hoping its a 1930s problem and not a Rome kind of thing.

the next four years...

god I gotta make a shitload of money and save it.

either that or buy a gun, move to somewhere remote and learn to farm.

(long story)

murphys law

no sooner do i get a new car does some lame ass chick pull into a spot beside me in a parking lot downtown and CRACK MY DRIVERS SIDE MIRROR.

FUCK.

i know its shallow but I am so pissed at this situation. yes its a car and it could have been worse but dammmmmmmmitttttttt..

ARGH. DOUBLE FUCKING ARGH.

Goodbye Saturn

i bought a used car yesterday...hyundai sonata. Its a luxury vehicle compared to the saturn.

All I have to say is the car buying process sucks. I am not a fan of talking to car salesmen.

One question... why did the finance manager not even have a calculator I could use?

Power.

The car is actually an 08 that used to be a rental car but its looks clean inside and out. 36000 miles or so. car payments... 158 a month. I put a big chunk down. I made them show me a carfax report. I didnt let them try to talk me into lower monthly payments and asked for the FINAL price I would get after finance charges etc.

Overall I give myself a 7 in negotiating. My saturn was literally on its last breath so I was a bit pressed to get something that day so I should have went to my bank for a better APR. I kinda got screwed but I believe I can refinance at some point so that takes care of that.

My brain raced as I dealt with these people and I learned a lot about what to do next time I buy a better car. Overall I am satisfied and just hope the car doesnt turn out to have problems.

the votes are in....

Troll 2 is the worst film ever made.

Seriously watch some clips of this and marvel at how lame it is. So lame in fact SXSW premiered a documentary of the making of this thing.

IMDB gave it a score of 0. The actors are cult heroes now (and probably the worst actors I have ever seen on film). The trolls are midgets in potato sacks with cheap masks. The plot is odd and unfollowable.

The script was apparently written in another language and then translated into english so its beyond awkward.

Basically put its the stuff cult films are made of. What I find hilarious is that there was never even a troll 1. I imagine the director...."if we make it part 2 then maybe it will do better in the theaters..."

I heart our new drummer

Alex is awesome. We met up with him and let him know he's in.

He told us how he felt like a little girl checking his email every day for our response. The dude is totally stoked to play with us and we couldn't be happier with our decision. We sat around, had beers and hugged as a foursome several times. It was totally cheesy but absolutely awesome. I am more stoked to be part of this band then ever.

little ditty

no melody yet. just words.

sometimes I am just an actor
in this bankrupt silence
driving home from you

nothing you can put together
covers up the violence
of the things we get into

sometimes I'm floating weightless
in the empty spaces
of another aftermath

I can almost see the angels
furrowing their faces
as I'm slipping out the back

Lil Wayne and the SATs

a correlation between what you listen to and how smart you are?

http://tinyurl.com/cybm3h


check us out on twitter....

http://twitter.com/legsagainstarms

done

so we finished recording saturday. still several steps until we actually have a CD in our hands but the laying down tracks part of it is over. Like anything creative I could find all kinds of things I would want to change or do differently or add, but if you dont decide to be finished with something like this you could be working on it forever.

We have a drummer now too. Well he doesnt know it yet but we made a decision. Nice guy, talented and actually puts forth on effort to keep in touch with us. He really digs what we are doing and wants to be a part of it.

Phase 2 is coming up. A whole world of unexpected surprises await us. Lets just hope they are good ones. At least a decent ratio of good to lame.

What I am most curious about is absolute strangers opinions of us. In my head I have all the criticisms I expect to hear. I will keep them to myself however. But if I notice several people saying the same things then its worth looking into and considering. But yeah 9 months in the making. Sweet.

Google Maps

i can see a picture of the house, the yard and the carport. Its that moment right before it starts getting darker and the sun is going down behind the trees. I liked that part of the day.

One day google will update their photos and that picture will be gone.

I feel lost looking at it. Like that was the last shred of comfort I will ever know. Its such an abrupt thing. I know this was expected for over a year but when something is there one day and gone the next its difficult.

A couple weeks ago my mom and I drove back to the house one last time. The electricity was cut off and the door was open. An abandoned house. I left my car lights on so they would point inside for us.

I walked through every room using my phone's screen as a flashlight. The only thing left were old things we didnt want to take with us. it was silent and very dark.

I pried off the 2 the 1 and the 7 of the address and put it in my trunk.

We stood outside and looked down that pretty hill at the boathouse and the river. The trees were already gone. Mom was finally touched after showing little emotion when I would discuss what was coming. It was dawning on her much later than it did me.

I understand this thing is kind of cheesy and lame to people outside of the situation. But its not to me. I know the ceremonies I created for it did it justice and I am not taking anything for granted.

No Creative Title

New Orleans was fun. I paced myself and did pretty well keeping up with the 25 year olds. In fact me and a few other guys were the last ones standing as the sun peeked over the horizon.

Gambled a little, won then lost. down 40. I had a blast regardless.

My car is making some crazy noises so I played with my budget and I think I can swing a used car around 10-12K.

I dread the car buying process. I dont want to play games. I know the dude is going to want to make some money and I am going to want to save some money. So I should probably brush up on my negotiation skills. I am not a good haggler.

wrote some painfully good lyrics. you know you're on the right track when it makes you uncomfortable as you write them. I keep humming my own melody all day today so I might have a winner on my hands. But I have felt this way before and have been very very wrong.

Heading to New Orleans

Im going to New Orleans this weekend for Jared's bachelor party.

Id rather be home working on the computer (which is crazy to me) There are just so many things I need to be doing to start making more money. I just dont have enough hours in the day and I spend the bulk of them making money for someone else.

That and a waxing and waning motivation. I need to reach the breaking point where I simply will not stand for complacency. This determination comes and goes. Sometimes I am just too type B for my own good.

So I am off for more debauchery. Will it ever get old?

Alf

I saw an old episode of Alf today. It was almost unbearable. Long awkward pauses between jokes. Just terrible.

but I remember hearing about Jerry Stahl, the guy who took the show and sent the ratings through the roof.

Here is a clip of a movie based on him. This is what I think about when I am watching Alf.

The house is gone

bulldozed to the ground. they even took the cedar tree with it.

it feels weird to know that its finally happened.

Call me a narcissist but....

damn this pic is classy.

miller lite on the piano...my dirty ass shoes. nice.

drummer interviews

so the guy last night wasn't so hot on the drums.

The bad part was as he was leaving we could tell in his voice and body language that he knew he didn't make the cut. Daniel felt horribly guilty. I did for awhile but realized that this role is important and there is no room for being nice.

It would be worse if a couple months into it, we let him go. Still his disappointment reminded us that this interview process is not easy.

I should not be writing this right now

I should actually be in the hospital, in jail or dead.

Miraculously I somehow avoided a SERIOUS collision with a drunken idiot running a red light last night.

This guy/gal was barreling straight for my driver side at a very fast speed. I dont know exactly what I did (i was coming back from a wedding pretty buzzed) or what he/she did but we must have missed each other by inches. My brain has been playing back the event over and over again. It was almost as if it was a ghost car because I cant see how I am not seriously hurt right now. I dont think I am exaggerating. Inches.

Lets say i didnt die. Lets say the door had some great reinforced beams to protect me. Id still have Mary's car totaled and both the driver and I would be facing DWI convictions. But whatever happened was nothing short of a miracle.

Jeeze.

You know what...

I am going to talk about Bill Gates some more.

Here is a guy who literally created an EMPIRE. Of course Windows is built on top of DOS so he didn't even really innovate as much as he took something and made it easier and more accessible to the common man. Some would argue he stole the idea. Either way I guess this could be considered innovation but its the cool king of piggybacking innovation that sparks change.

He subsequently became one of the RICHEST men in the world. (Yet the man took years to spring for a decent pair of glasses.)

Now he and his wife have the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation. Warren Buffet gave the bulk of his fortune to the foundation because he believes in what they do. In a fascinating and rare appearance, Bill, Melinda and Warren talked with Charlie Rose. (it gives me a very large lump in my throat to see these powerful people so dedicated to society)

Rather than sit back and buy luxory yachts and have extravagant parties (Like Microsoft VP Paul Allen) They turned Bill's fortune into MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF GOOD FOR HUMANITY.

Think about that for a second. Bill Gates has achieved the cliche. Create amazing wealth and do something real with it. This man might actually go down in history more for his upcoming philanthropy than his domination in the home PC market.

Bill Gates might be described as the definition of self-actualization. He took his talents and now has created something that will outlive himself forever. He has nothing political to gain for his actions (that I can see). I truly believe he simply sees a need and wants to do something about it.

I heart bill gates.

I like Bill

Bill Gates is just cool.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090205/ts_alt_afp/usitinternethealthfinancegates

Going to the Za Za

I have a wedding to attend in Houston this weekend. I don't know the bride or the groom. I don't know the attendees. I hear the hotel Za Za is ultra chic but I have never heard of it.

What I do know is that I will wear a tux and my converse. My date will probably be embarrassed. I hope to see something cool like someone falling into the cake or my absolute dream wedding fantasy....someone standing up and speaking now rather than holding their peace.

The little plaque invitations they sent out must have cost them several thousand dollars. This is going to be an interesting experience indeed.

whole lotta little crap

computer fried from a power surge...car getting towed in questionable situation...car on its last leg...speeding tickets...insurance premiums skyrocketing due to a payment lapse...a bad case of gout...just kidding. no gout.

wouldn't that suck.

New Zealand

Had a friend call me for the first time in 7 months.

He hated his job here, saved up and moved to New Zealand. I remember the night he sat on my couch, wearing his work clothes. He said "Man I just want to save up some money and get the fuck out of here." (Something along those lines)

Well he did it. He slaved at the job, rose to middle management and all the while saved every penny. He amassed a small chunk of money and just dropped everything and moved to New Zealand. I'm sure he misses Circuit City.

This was months ago. Well hes back in Austin and called me. His voice was calm. He didn't really know where to start. Funny how it feels like yesterday I talked to him.

The trip cleared his head. He is thinking about going back to school to study a whole new field. He is debating on leaving for Colorado or California. He doesn't know what he wants to do but it feels like a wide open highway for him.

Sometimes I am reminded how limited I see things. For all the ego I have about my own enlightenment, it frequently dawns on me that I really don't feel enough, take chances enough or follow adventure the way I should.

I'm not necessarily talking about running off to another country. Although that really seems pretty sweet at this moment in the night. But my friends finding their purpose lead me to think I am stagnant in that regard.

All my cracks are starting to show the older I get. I really don't know what I want. In any aspect of my life. How scary is that?

new song

i wrote a song tonight. From memories that almost seem sacred now. The kind of memories you don't feel you really deserve and maybe will only get to experience once. I understood as I was experiencing them that these were things I would never see again.

you called a cab
and you went back to bed
I said goodbye to your town

keep it simple
just a sleepy peck
I guess Ill call you when I touch down

i spent my last
on a magazine
and picked up a few new words

tried not to stare
at the gypsy queens
singing songs Ive never heard

ive been thinking about
what your father said
how the words get in the way

theres not enough time
to figure it out
"so many things I want to say"

I can still recall
the festival
and the children everywhere

the dizzy lights
the cathedral at night
and the way you did your hair

WOW

The choir was incredible. 18 people singing our little pop song. The girls went one way, the boys went the other and there were claps.

The song is officially badass now.

minutes away from history

i am watching the inauguration.

truly inspiring.

Big Choir of Voices

This coming Saturday we are going to grab as many people we can to sing the chorus for one of the songs on the EP. I need to find more females to balance out our confirmed guys singing on the track.

Its going to be fun to pack as many people we can into that room.

10 really weird fetishes

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Constant Education

That's how I would describe my opinion of business success.

I have been subscribing to an online affiliate marketing website that has a monthly payment of $30 bucks for a few months. I probably have read through 1/5th of all the info available to me so I kinda felt like I was wasting my money.

I went back to a section I had read already and found one little tidbit of info. It was an Aha moment and I applied it immediately. I woke up to some super numbers and a sale.

It goes to show me how for this to fly, I am going to have to be consistently studying, learning and moving forward with what I know about this industry. I am also going to create a separate blog for this kind of stuff because frankly its stuffy and only entertains myself.

learning my limits

so I have officially become obsessed. I watch the stats creep up, i freak out because they aren't where I want them to be.

I get home and work until 2 sometimes nearly 3 on this stuff. I dream about it.

Then this morning a very tense ball of stress appeared in my chest. Like a rock. I thought it was my heart for a second. It hurt.

So I took a hot shower, laid down awhile and breathed deeply and it got better.

Still this is no way to live. I am literally working 13-14 hour days, not unwinding at all and unusually obsessive about this stuff. Gotta be another way.

I have lost about $130 so far. Of course the stats I gain are invaluable. I need to see this as necessary costs of learning my market but I freak out over every penny. Some entrepreneur.

Valerie Plain

Do yourself a favor and listen to the song Valerie Plain by the Decemberists. It just keeps surprising you and its so catchy.

Everything a pop song should be. I heard it on the drive to work today. That and a great song by Ben Folds about when he fell and hit his head during a performance in Japan. Funny stuff.

weekend update

good weekend. vocals were recorded and I did pretty well. Of course I might feel differently going back to hear it later but it came off a lot better than i had planned. Inch by inch this EP will be released. Maybe it wont be a masterpiece or anything but its damn excellent for an ep by some guys who have only been together about a year.

in boring nerdy news, my sales letter is converting at a whopping 10%. Or course more data is needed to get accurate percentages but as it stands I am making a sale with every 10 visits to the page. 20 opt ins so far. 2 sales. I was hopefully optimistic I would get 2%. still 22 bucks in the hole after its all said and done but that was to be expected. I am on the right track here.

not sure why both sales were from canada though. weird.

weirdest craving ever

lately Ive been wanting to do algebra.

I know. ridiculous.

I seriously want to do math right now. wtf?

Friends....I need someone to lean on....

I am about to cancel my cable subscription....

Im weak..

no cnn...

no comedy central...

no....qvc. ;)

I know its in my best interest to spend my time elsewhere. Just turn to the television for a daily fix of the simpsons and seinfeld ONLY, if that.

I know I can go on the internet and watch the other shows if I really want to...

but honestly there is a certain comfort having cable. Living alone can get very very quiet and just having mildly entertaining TV on can really help with the the feelings of isolation that creep up every now and then.

of course I have to ask myself what is that comfort worth to me? 80 bucks a month is over 266 leads generated online. A 2% sales rate of that far exceeds $80.

Seems like the smart thing to do.

its now 2:39 am

and my site is live. the links work. The videos play seamlessly. Google is turned on. now I sleep and see if I had late night visitors in the morning.

nerd alert. I am stoked as all get out.

True...

"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." - Jim Rohn

swimming in details

so this little internet business is a massive amount of tiny little details...

tweaks to the opt in page need to be made, videos I recorded need editing in certain places, payment processing needs to be in place, stat tracking in Google needs to be fully functional before driving traffic to it. Keyword research...yada yada. This is not a fly by night get rich quick thing. I am working on a legitimate info product business that happens to have the internet as the storefront. But I got a lot done last night. And Im going to be doing things I dont see my competition doing at all. This is where my experience with my job comes into play. I see all these real estate gurus doing interesting marketing and I am totally copping the ideas in my niche. Hopefully this separates me from the others.

Of course the numbers wont lie. Thats the cool thing about marketing. You get instant results from your efforts that are inarguable.

I had a tiny technical breakthrough last night that excited the hell out of me so I stayed up way too late working on it. I may be a bit of a slacker sometimes but when I get into something I can literally work a solid 6 or 7 hours on it without getting up from my chair.

Im am very very excited to start making passive income.

the swang of it

ok it actually feels good to be back into the routine. Not laying around in my own filth and wondering what I am going to do today. I should have worked on my internet stuff this holiday but I managed to keep any smidgen of responsibility and productivity held down and suffocated until the new year.

Last night I met up with Daniel and we went over a new song we are working on. Its a dual song where we trade off lines in the chorus. our lines so far...

Daniel:

All the continental breakfasts and floral pattern carpets are the same

From the outskirts of Los Angeles to the inns that line the coast of Georgian Bay

And any one you're in makes you feel you're the only one without a lover on display

its the end of the world - Me
if I could just draw this out - Daniel
at a holiday inn - Me
Try not to think about - Daniel
I just couldn't wait - Me
How I need to remember - Daniel
to see you again - Me
The crack and the timbre - Daniel

There's more but were playing around with it. The harmonies are pretty spectacular. its a bouncy piano number and is going to be good. We have a lot of potential good stuff in the works

I also worked on my sales letter and tweaked my ebook some more when I got home.

2009 is going to be my bitch.