reeling in the years...

Next month I will be 34. Holy crap!

Lets see about the 3 pillars here:

Health: My workouts have tapered off a bit which I need to get back to. I should probably also expand my routine to new workouts and really put more emphasis on my diet to see more results.

I have been also eating pretty badly lately. I have weird moments of uber health and then total disregard for what I am putting into my body. I do frequently drink pure pressed vegetable juice from Central Market that they make here in Austin, but its expensive. I should probably buy a juicer and make my own juice drinks.

Wealth: This category is probably the most developed for me right now. Simply put, I invested more time into it than anything and the rewards are becoming apparent. We're talking 2 years of slaving for a guy who paid me nothing, acquiring a valuable skillset in the process and then finally realizing the benefits of doing this for multiple people, rather than being someone's employee. Luckily, it turns out this is a white hot skillset that a lot of businesses need.

With this decision to be solo comes new stresses and obligations to deal with. But I would prefer them over the stress of a job I hated for an employer I despised and having a ceiling of potential income that I could never break through.

My savings are still pretty pathetic but if I can keep the momentum going the next few months will give me a lot of opportunity to make up for all the lost time.

Relationships: 

Family: This could be better. I don't communicate with them near enough. Facebook does not count. However I will post what my cousin said the other day on Facebook that I agree with:

Working at the VA has taught me one thing- my family has been blessed with a succession of amazing people who take care of their own. Our elderly have always had a place to stay, someone to take care of them, someone to support them, to love and care for them. We are beyond lucky to have each other and I'm proud/happy to be part of our clan. I will do the same one day. No one in our family goes homeless, without care, or unloved. Pack made. — 

• Jared We are blessed. I see elderly people every day who have no one

  Saturday at 8:22pm via mobile ·  · 2
• 
  

  Jim Carmen We stick together. We love you

  Saturday at 10:26pm ·  · 2
• 
  

  Sonja Love you all and Always so happy for the Support of our Military family and other Military Friends and Families!

Friends: Doing well here. I have a decent group of people I trust and confide in as well as have fun with. I can usually find someone who wants to hang out most nights of the week which is important when I am working alone all day.

Dating: Doing decent here as well but the depth of the relationships are lacking. I don't have anyone I feel strongly for and find myself going back and forth from wanting something serious to enjoying the fact that Austin has a near unlimited amount of beautiful women and adventure. I know I cant stay on this fence forever and think inevitably a fulfilling relationship is the goal, but honestly I am not worried about it at this point. In any situation, be it single or in a relationship, there are difficulties and specific emotions you have to deal with. I choose to not want but rather find the value in this exact moment, whichever that may be. Currently its single and I'm satisfied with it.

This is all simplified but an overall decent look at where I stand nearing my 34th year of life. I am positive about my future and know even  more beauty, discovery and coolness awaits. I want to continue to build my business, take more trips, play more music, make new friends, keep up with old friends/family, meet an awesome woman who blows me away and all the stuff that makes my time here worth it.

Took the boat out two days in a row. The first day was flawless. Me and 3 others wakeboarding, swimming, cruising, listening to the radio... awesome.

Took the boat out yesterday with my mom and a friend. The wind threw me off and I crunched the boat up against the dock, screwing up a panel of it. Luckily I purchased the insurance so the most I will pay is $200 for what might be a $1000-1500 repair job, but I was completely deflated by the experience. Embarrassed. Pissed at myself. Sad I was going to make the staff have to fix it. I was torn between the emotions of "This is what happens with a big commercial business like this... boats get bumped up... that's why they offer the insurance" to "You idiot, you failed as an adult for not controlling the boat right. They are going to totally be wary of you"

So I called them immediately and let them know. They were very polite and told me to enjoy my day, that they have 200 members and 40 boats. This kind of thing happens and take this for a learning experience. (I know right?)

I got back at the end of the day and the dock guys told me it was a bad day for several people due to the wind. This helped me somewhat. But not much. I'm pretty sure my damage was the worst of what possibly happened. I still get pangs of embarrassment thinking about watching that panel bend in with that crunch sound, and looking totally inexperienced as I lost control and others sat and watched me bumble my way out of it. Ugh. I will know the damage to the boat shortly. And if my contract holds up and I am understanding things correctly, I will only owe $200. Fingers crossed there isnt some loophole.

UPDATE: 9-20

It only cost me $200. But as luck would have it I ran into one of the owners in line at HEB. He was not happy with me. I have not been back. Everyone is telling me to suck it up and go back. I need to. But my shame and fear is gripping my balls like a vice. Yet I am paying monthly so time to suck it up and get back out there.

Big hit to my business today. Don't know how it will shake out but I'm sure things will be okay eventually. Setbacks are a part of this whole thing and I can't let them stop me.

Got a call from a fairly large company that wants to use me for consulting today over lunch. A quick $100 for an hour of my time. I could have asked for more but honestly I feel silly getting paid to give people my opinions. I suppose I should get over that. They are going to be making a lot of money with my advice. ;)

Weekend was good. Two friends from Houston joined me. We took the boat out, swam around, ate good Thai food, listened to music at my apartment, and acted like dorks half the time. Merged my Christian friend with a couple of my other friends which ended up being awkward for me in several places. I have great friends all around but many of them are polar opposites of each other. I wonder what that says about me?

Tonight I am meeting up with a friend to play some music. She has a great voice and we want to collaborate on some new stuff together. This is new to me because I have never worked with a female or an acoustic duo thing. I also plan on making some electronic music as soon as I buy the software. I want to really study other artists this time and see how they do what they do rather than being a purist. I used to want to ignore other artists work but I want to go the "copy your idols and then find your own voice" route this time around and see what happens.

ahoy pt2

Took my class today. It was fun. My instructor was 19. I have a hangnail older than him.

He basically had me drive around and get a feel for the boat and schooled me on the laws and regulations Ill be dealing with. Tomorrow a friend from Houston is coming in to see me and I'll have it waiting for us to take out.

Lake Travis is huge. There are cool little coves, marinas, beaches etc all along the 25 mile stretch. Pics to come.

Ahoy

I went down to Lake Travis and signed up with a boat club today. Tomorrow is a 2 hour training thing where they break down all the club rules and show me how to handle the boats properly. They have big boats, fast boats, party boats, fishing boats, sailboats you name it. All for me to use, bring back and walk away from.

It wasn't cheap but its a tangible thing for myself to help me celebrate that I have been working hard and bringing results to my clients. Rather than go out and buy some giant TV or something that would make me feel uncomfortable, I figured a fun lifestyle change would be a better choice and I can bring family and friends along with me in the fun.

Offers are still coming in for more clients but I just dont have time in day to take on much more. I am thankful for this. I know the universe gives you what you put into it. I do believe you also aren't given things you can't handle. I had wanted to be in this place in the past but never got there. Probably because I was an idiot and didn't deserve it.

I hope I can continue to do well, get myself in a good place and then turn to helping others. I think this is a good plan. Its only fair.

Tucker Max

If you go to http://www.tuckermax.com/ you will find a collection of debaucherous stories from a man completely following his Id and being a hilarious yet despicable person. The guys books have been on the New York Times bestseller list for years.

I've visited the site several times throughout the years and laughed at his adventures and marveled at this guys complete lack of consideration for the opinions of others, his ability to get laid, etc. In a twisted way I envied him.

A recent article explains that now Tucker Max has retired from this style of writing and the lifestyle that fueled it. He admits those years of his life were an absolute mental sickness. Classic narcissistic personality disorder or whatever. Hes in psychotherapy and dealing with his issues.

The article is eye opening because you wonder what becomes of a man who lives like this. This is an honest look at the only logical outcome. His life got him famous. He has countless women wanting to sleep with him even though his stories are a feminist's worst nightmare. He has countless men worshiping him as the intelligent and drunken party guy who wasn't afraid to live life on his own terms. He's got millions of dollars. But under it all he explains how he's just a fucked up person and doesn't want to be that way anymore. He is actively dealing with his childhood traumas and trying to come out of it a different and better person.

I have long thought about going to a psychologist. I was hesitant due partly to pride and money but now I think I don't really have an excuse. I know a lot of people who say its completely changed their lives. I believe it. I used to envy Tucker Max. That's probably reason enough to go to therapy right there.

I met this gal last week at an event my buddy invited me to. Kinda like a singles happy hour thing. It was pretty cool. Lots of women.

I got her number and we just went out last night. Her hotness was blinding. She races horses. She was shy. Awesome girl. She talked about how every time she goes out no one says anything to her. I was dumbfounded that this was her reality.

The thing is I'm not sure I screwed it up. I think I handled it well We kissed a couple times. But I got a weird vibe she might not be interested enough. If anything it gave me courage to know that beautiful women are often without much dating action because guys are too scared to say anything.

I need to be better about getting over my shyness and saying hi.

I think one of my bigger weaknesses is thinking most people know what the hell they are talking about.

I am just not 100% certain of much. I am always willing to hear an opposing view or a different angle to a story I have not considered. My problem is I hear somone's side or angle and then deeply question if I am incorrect. I then second guess myself and often end up assuming I am wrong when my initial reaction or belief was correct to begin with.

I envy those with an unwavering, almost blind commitment to an idea. These people have gotten a lot done throughout history. Its the pussies like me who sit on something and try to dissect every possible detail and nuance until I lose sight of the reality of a situation.

No surprise... I can see this also being a benefit in life.

Dammit I did it again.

Its a good day. I picked up a new client. I had the initial conversation yesterday and the check is already in the mail. Its the fastest consult to payment situation I have ever experienced.

I also have another previous client who ended up seeing results from June and will possibly reup our contract for August.

Finally I have a total of 3 more potential clients in various niches expressing interests in my services. If just one of those signs up with me then that will have officially passed my income goal (at least the monthly version of it) that I set for myself awhile back. I was hoping to hit it before 35. I am not even 34 yet.

Of course anything could happen. Clients could drop out. The economy could drop out. But for now I am proud of myself.

Time to go sailing. (literally)