I went out last night and had drinks with abe, samantha and her roommate. I just got back from a crazy weekend. Now Im sitting here completely out of my mind with boredom. I wrote a little something that might become something cool someday. But still...
Why cant I ever sit still? I was literally pacing moments ago, going out of my head with boredom. I don't know how to relax. and i refuse to simply pacify myself with television.
In the book "The Way of the Superior Man" David Deida talks about allowing yourself to sort of wallow in your own silence and see what kind of thoughts creep up. He believes that we are constantly filling our days with chatter and noise to ignore our real selves peeking out. I can see this but what does it mean when you literally hate stagnation if even for a moment. If I'm not out in the thick of things I go nuts. If I ever got married I'd have to find a woman who understands this. I could read. But nah.
Wow the majority of life is actually quite boring. I can barely take it sometimes.
But then I sound like an ungrateful bastard. I'm fully recovered from a weird sickness and have things so good right now. That appreciation is always there, probably more so that most. I love life. I am aware its fleeting. Maybe that is the reason I don't enjoy peace and quiet. My time here is limited and its always on my mind.
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