Dating and being in a band

The parallels to dating and being in a band are so close its scary.

I keep going through waves of emotion from knowing he could have dedicated himself more if he really wanted it, to being on his side because his acting is his real passion, and then back to hating him again. He plays in another band that is actually going on a small tour in January. This is like cheating or something twisted like that.

Then its like fuck it. He doesn't want to be a part of this anymore. Fine.

So is it me? Is it the material? Fuck it either way!

The landscape of new musicians seems too big to conquer. Every person who responds feels like a big mystery we have to uncover, and time must be spent to find out if hes a good fit. Time and energy invested on something that could be better spent elsewhere. I dont want to find a new drummer. I want our old one to be cool.

I am confidentit will be fine, then I am not. Then I am again. Perverse parallels. A band is truly a relationship of sorts and I feel the loss.

I did finish a good song the other day. Its about winter. I like winter imagry.

Here are the lyrics...

I'm throwing in the towel
extend the branches out
its time
when you come around
holding up the stars in the sky

in winter's fading light
winters fading light
I wont let you down this time

the smell of coffee grounds
look at what we found
alright!
that kind of love surrounds
youre smiling at me with your eyes

in winters fading light
winters fading light
I finally move like Im alive

singing only vowels
making sure the owls
are in time
listen to the sound
as the world is covered up in white

in winters fading light
winters fading light
I wont let you down tonight