feel the routine looming

So the last few months have been a rollercoaster. The dust is starting to settle a bit and I can feel the initial stages of routine setting in. Work, come home, get chick-fil-a, watch simpsons, dick around on the computer, watch seinfeld, fall asleep.

Its always amazing to me how easily I can start to fall into a rut. I see it looming and I'm not going to let it happen. Ruts cause too many negative things for me.

1. boredom and restlessness
2. taking important things for granted
3. feeling sorry for myself

I saw the most stunning woman in the world walking her dog by my apartment today. I was in my car and really couldn't figure out a way to approach without looking psycho. The desire wasn't very strong anyway. I'm getting comfortable with my routine. bad me.

It's these kinds of moments that I face that teeter-totter between my comfort zone and potential, that I think about often. As I get older I start to see that a comfort zone can be one of the most dangerous things we can face in a leisure society like America. I don't fear bombs outside my door. I will never know that kind of life. I cant relate emotionally. So I grow fat (metaphorically) and numb. This might sum up the bulk of middle class USA.

It takes a true effort to break that cycle. And its so easy to fall into.

I am very lucky that I am afforded a life of pure introspection, free from distraction like hunger or real pain (at least comparatively speaking). Being single and living alone I probably find more time than most for it. I probably overthink things. (no shit man). Still thats how I roll and its in my DNA.

So this long ass rant is a sort of mantra to myself and the few people who know of this blog to fight the rut with everything I have. As easy as it is to be too tired after work, as weird as it would feel to break out and do something uncharacteristic of me I have to push through it. There is too much out there. Worlds of experiences, friendships, romance, adventure waiting around corners you just have to stick your head around to see. They can be simple things. I don't have to rescue the princess or open the arc of the covenant. I just want to live fully.

This fear of boredom, this desire for more...it comes back to one of my biggest realizations.

From the second i was born my cells began deteriorating. I just don't have enough life in me to do all the things I want to do.

Now lets get a hooker and some blow.